“Now I shall tell you the whole tale, and you must believe me, for I
know. They had pondered the problem of satiety. They loved Love. They
knew to the uttermost farthing the value of Love. They loved him so
well that they were fain to keep him always, warm and a-thrill in their
hearts. They welcomed his coming; they feared to have him depart.
“Love was desire, they held, a delicious pain. He was ever seeking
easement, and when he found that for which he sought, he died. Love
denied was Love alive; Love granted was Love deceased. Do you follow me?
They saw it was not the way of life to be hungry for what it has. To eat
and still be hungry--man has never accomplished that feat. The problem
of satiety. That is it. To have and to keep the sharp famine-edge of
appetite at the groaning board. This was their problem, for they loved
Love. Often did they discuss it, with all Love's sweet ardours brimming
in their eyes; his ruddy blood spraying their cheeks; his voice playing
in and out with their voices, now hiding as a tremolo in their throats,
and again shading a tone with that ineffable tenderness which he alone
can utter.
“How do I know all this? I saw--much. More I learned from her diary.
This I found in it, from Fiona Macleod: 'For, truly, that wandering
voice, that twilight-whisper, that breath so dewy-sweet, that
flame-winged lute-player whom none sees but for a moment, in a
rainbow-shimmer of joy, or a sudden lightning-flare of passion, this
exquisite mystery we call Amor, comes, to some rapt visionaries at
least, not with a song upon the lips that all may hear, or with blithe
viol of public music, but as one wrought by ecstasy, dumbly eloquent
with desire.'
“How to keep the flame-winged lute-player with his dumb eloquence of
desire? To feast him was to lose him. Their love for each other was a
great love. Their granaries were overflowing with plenitude; yet they
wanted to keep the sharp famine-edge of their love undulled.
“Nor were they lean little fledglings theorizing on the threshold of
Love. They were robust and realized souls. They had loved before,
with others, in the days before they met; and in those days they had
throttled Love with caresses, and killed him with kisses, and buried him
in the pit of satiety.
“They were not cold wraiths, this man and woman. They were warm human.
They had no Saxon soberness in their blood. The colour of it was
sunset-red. They glowed with it. Temperamentally theirs was the French
joy in the flesh. They were idealists, but their idealism was Gallic.
It was not tempered by the chill and sombre fluid that for the English
serves as blood. There was no stoicism about them. They were Americans,
descended out of the English, and yet the refraining and self-denying of
the English spirit-groping were not theirs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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