* Emotional and mental difficulties vary tremendously. Psychologists and psychiatrists are still in the process of classifying the kinds of emotional and mental problems people have. * People are individuals. Their personalities, likes and dislikes, and motivations for entering therapy differ greatly. * Therapists, too, are individuals. Their personalities, interests, values, and motivations for _offering_ therapy differ greatly. Their professional training and preferences in favor of one or several approaches to therapy also vary significantly. As a result, what works for one patient will not necessarily work for another. _What_ helps and _who_ helps in one person's situation may not help in another's. Yet all three of the factors on which effective treatment depends--a patient's goals and problems, his or her personality traits, and the approach of the therapist--in many cases _can_ be matched intelligently. You, as a prospective client, know a great deal about yourself; it doesn't make sense to choose arbitrarily among the many therapies. It takes very little time to map your way: in the process, you will learn more about yourself, what to anticipate in therapy, and in what direction to start. {62} REALISM: A GOOD BEGINNING In order to identify one or more therapies that may be most promising in relation to _your_ goals, _your_ problems, and _the kind of person you understand yourself to be_, you must begin your search with a good measure of realism. SETTING GOALS It can be very difficult for anyone who is seriously troubled to think clearly and use good judgment. You may find it hard, perhaps impossible, at this time to identify your goals. You may feel confused, anxious, depressed, and not know why you feel that way. Even so, you will find as you read on that you can set important goals for yourself. If you are at a loss and have no sense of purpose, _that_ fact gives you a goal to work toward in therapy: to develop clearly thought-out goals. Though you may not know what precipitated your feelings of confusion, anxiety, or depression, you at least _know_ that you feel confused, anxious, or depressed, and you will find recommendations in this chapter on how to find appropriate help for your suffering. Do not judge yourself harshly if you lack a sense of direction or if you are troubled but do not know why. Just keep reading. OPENING YOURSELF TO CHANGE