Where Angels Fear to TreadForster, E. M. (Edward Morgan)
General
Where Angels Fear to Tread
Forster, E. M. (Edward Morgan)
Culture conflict -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Humorous stories; Middle class -- England -- Fiction
“Absurd nonsense they talk about the heat,” said Philip, as they drove
from the station. “Supposing we were here for pleasure, what could be
more pleasurable than this?”
“Did you hear, though, they are remarking on the cold?” said Harriet
nervously. “I should never have thought it cold.”
And on the second day the heat struck them, like a hand laid over the
mouth, just as they were walking to see the tomb of Juliet. From
that moment everything went wrong. They fled from Verona. Harriet’s
sketch-book was stolen, and the bottle of ammonia in her trunk burst
over her prayer-book, so that purple patches appeared on all her
clothes. Then, as she was going through Mantua at four in the morning,
Philip made her look out of the window because it was Virgil’s
birthplace, and a smut flew in her eye, and Harriet with a smut in her
eye was notorious. At Bologna they stopped twenty-four hours to rest. It
was a FESTA, and children blew bladder whistles night and day. “What a
religion!” said Harriet. The hotel smelt, two puppies were asleep on
her bed, and her bedroom window looked into a belfry, which saluted her
slumbering form every quarter of an hour. Philip left his walking-stick,
his socks, and the Baedeker at Bologna; she only left her sponge-bag.
Next day they crossed the Apennines with a train-sick child and a
hot lady, who told them that never, never before had she sweated so
profusely. “Foreigners are a filthy nation,” said Harriet. “I don’t care
if there are tunnels; open the windows.” He obeyed, and she got another
smut in her eye. Nor did Florence improve matters. Eating, walking, even
a cross word would bathe them both in boiling water. Philip, who was
slighter of build, and less conscientious, suffered less. But Harriet
had never been to Florence, and between the hours of eight and eleven
she crawled like a wounded creature through the streets, and swooned
before various masterpieces of art. It was an irritable couple who took
tickets to Monteriano.
“Singles or returns?” said he.
“A single for me,” said Harriet peevishly; “I shall never get back
alive.”
“Sweet creature!” said her brother, suddenly breaking down. “How helpful
you will be when we come to Signor Carella!”
“Do you suppose,” said Harriet, standing still among a whirl of
porters--“do you suppose I am going to enter that man’s house?”
“Then what have you come for, pray? For ornament?”
“To see that you do your duty.”
“Oh, thanks!”
“So mother told me. For goodness sake get the tickets; here comes that
hot woman again! She has the impudence to bow.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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