“Yes--I’m as different as possible--out there,” she went on. “There
are people I detest whom I’m sweet to because of what they are
socially. I’m like the rest of the girls--crazy about social position
and fond of snubbing people--and----”
“Don’t tell me about it,” he interrupted gently, but with an expression
in his straight, honest eyes that made her blush and hang her head.
“I’m sorry for what you are when the black magician who rules beyond
the bend takes possession of you. But what he does to you doesn’t
change what the white magic makes of you here.”
Her eyes, her whole face lighted up. “The white magic,” she repeated
softly. After a brief reverie she came back to the subject and went
on, “I told you because I--I’m ashamed to be a fraud with you.... I
wonder if you’re really as big and honest as you seem? Nobody is--out
there. They’re mean and petty!--when you see through what they pretend
to be--pretend even to themselves. I’m just as big a fraud as the rest.
And I often convince myself I’m sweet and good and-- If I could only--”
There she stopped, leaving her wish unexpressed but easy to imagine.
“The way to keep the little things out is to fill one’s mind with the
big things,” said he. “But you’re not to blame for being what your
surroundings compel.”
“Do you think I could be different?” she asked, waiting in a sort of
breathlessness for his answer.
“I’ve not thought about it,” was his depressing answer. “Offhand I
should say not. You’re at the age when almost everybody does a little
thinking. But that’ll soon stop, and you’ll be what you were molded to
be from babyhood.”
“I know I don’t amount to much,” said she humbly. “Out there--under the
black magic--I’m vain and proud. But here--I feel I’m just nothing.”
“You’re a superb model,” said he consolingly. “Really--superb.”
“Please don’t mock at me. Honestly, don’t you think I’m commonplace?”
He gave her that fine, gentle smile of his, particularly fine coming
from such a big, masculine sort of man. And he said, “Nothing that the
sun shines on is commonplace.”
* * * * *
She developed strong curiosity as to the general aspects of his
affairs--as to his hopes and fears for the future. Her efforts to draw
him out on these subjects amused him. His frank confession that he was
unknown in America threw her quite off the track; it never occurred to
her that he might be known abroad. “And you have worked many years?”
she said.
“All my life.”
She looked tenderly sympathetic distress. “Doesn’t your not being
recognized discourage you?” she said.
“Not a bit,” declared he, with every indication of sincerity.
“Everything worth while takes time. Anyhow, I don’t much care. My
living is secure. You see, I’m quite rich.”
Her eyes opened wide. “Rich!” she exclaimed. “Really? Why, I thought--”
There she halted, blushing.
“Oh, yes. I’ve got forty thousand--not to speak of my land.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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