Who Was Lost and Is Found: A NovelOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
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Who Was Lost and Is Found: A Novel
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Criminals -- Fiction; Mothers and sons -- Fiction; Scotland -- Fiction
Mrs Ogilvy was not aware that there was anything that was not most
ordinary in these June nights. She loved them, but knew no reason why.
She sat in the sweet air, in the silence, sometimes feeling herself as
if suspended between air and sky, floating softly in space with the
movement of the world: and in her thoughts she was able even sometimes
to detach herself from Then and Now, those two dreadful limits of our
consciousness, and to catch a glimpse of life as it is rounded out, and
some consciousness of the beginning and the end, and the sequence and
connection of all things. Sometimes: but perhaps not very often, for
these gleams of discovery are but gleams, and fly like the flashes of
lightning which suddenly reveal to us a broad country, a noble city lost
in the darkness. On such occasions the great sphere overhead, the great
landscape stretching into distance, the glimpses of houses, great and
small, amid the warm surrounding of the trees, the murmur of the Esk low
in the glen, filling all the air with sound, affected her with an
extraordinary calm. She used to think sometimes that this was the Peace
that passeth understanding which descended upon her, hushing all her
thoughts, stilling every sigh. It came but seldom in that height of
blessing, but often in a less perfect way, as she sat and pondered upon
the great still world revolving round, and she an atom in the boundless
breadth of being, which by-and-by would drop, while the world went on.
But at other times it appeared to her more strange still that in all
these miles and miles of distance, of solid earth and growing trees, and
the hopeful harvests that were coming, there was one little thing, so
little in fact, so insignificant in the midst of all, that was throbbing
and throbbing and disturbing the quiet, unmoved by the peace of the sky
and the earth and all the beautiful things between them--thinking its
own small thoughts, and troubling, and living--till all the quiet
throbbed and thrilled with it, the one thing that was out of harmony.
The centre of her thoughts, or rather the cause of them all, night and
day, was a thing that had happened fifteen years ago, a thing that most
people had forgotten--a small matter to the world--just the going away
of a heedless young man. It was not that she was always thinking of him,
for her thoughts rambled and wandered through all the heavens and earth;
but that he was the centre of all, the pivot on which they turned, the
beginning and the end of everything. He had gone away--he had left his
home, having already erred and strayed--and he had been heard of no
more. She was not complaining or finding fault with God for it: she
would sometimes wonder with a little wistfulness why God never listened
to her, did not somewhere seize that wandering boy and bring him
back--to satisfy her before she died. But then there were many things to
be considered, Mrs Ogilvy knew and acknowledged to herself in the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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