Eduard Desmond, as all the Convent knew, was a man of the world, with a
past. He was also in his lighter moments an artist. The Convent was
rather vague in its mind as to the form of art he pursued; but that it
included habits was unfortunately certain, and his young niece Betty had
vouched personally for the authenticity of his past. It had had to do
with a married woman. The Convent frequently prayed for him; though
unknown to the nuns.
Occasionally this distinguished-looking, fascinating, rather melancholy
young man came to take Betty and a few chosen friends to a matinée, out
of the kindness of his heart. Perhaps it was not pure kindness of heart
that had called to his special attention young Joan Darcy, with her
square chin, and straight black brows beneath which the eyes looked out
at you with an odd intensity; unless she smiled, when they danced like
blue water in the sun. She was not pretty, Joan, and boys rarely noticed
her, somewhat to her chagrin; but Eduard Desmond was no boy, and his
past perhaps had made him perceptive. The acquaintance between them
ripened to a degree unsuspected by the good sisters at the Convent, if
not by his family, who aided and abetted it, feeling that a young girl
might be rather good for Eduard. Doubtless she was. She entered into the
duty of "reforming" him with a conscientious thoroughness that might
have been trying to an artistic temperament, had he not got a good deal
of genuine interest out of the process himself; interest, and even more.
She had soft little confiding ways, like a friendly child's, combined
with the queerest flashes of cool understanding, anything but childlike,
which kept him rather in awe of her innocent vision. Indeed, that the
affair went no further than it did was due perhaps to Joan's perfectly
unconscious habit of withdrawing herself to see what was going on, of
being "not there when wanted," as Eduard put it to himself, annoyed. He
thought it deliberate, the reserve of the prude, or of the embryo
coquette; whereas it was really one of the crosses of Joan's life,
dreaded by her as the self-conscious dread attacks of shyness.
So far she had come out of what might have been an illuminating
experience bearing only two small trophies of the sort girls love to
whisper about together in bed after dances when the lights are out; one
rather lingering kiss upon her slim, brown paw (which did not startle
her at all, but made her want to giggle); and now this love-letter--if
it was a love-letter.
Again Joan sighed. She regretted with all her heart that queer aloofness
which came upon her in critical moments, making her notice that a man's
ears were put on wrong, or that her own finger-nails needed shining,
when she should have been surrendering her whole soul to emotion. Was it
always going to keep her from plumbing the depths of life?
"Oh, but it shan't!" she insisted to herself. "I _will not_ be an
innocent bystander! Things must happen to me; they must. All kinds of
things!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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