His parents had not intended that he should be permanently a printer; the
inability to care for the growing boy at home evidently induced them to
seek a trade for him by which he could earn a living while studying for
the ministry. But the tragic events or the unaccountable mental revolution
of those unrecorded years turned away all the hopes of his parents and
sent his soul into rebellion against such a career. Nevertheless, a deep
good nature remained intact and the altruistic qualities of his
disposition proved to be permanent. He wrote to Shillabar ("Mrs.
Partington") of Boston that "the man who has no care for fun himself has
more time to cheer up his neighbors." The only thing that ever cheered
Ward into chuckling laughter was to meditate by himself on the effect of a
squib or description he was composing on "some old codger on a barrel by
the country grocery."
Ward was never contented or fully happy. He traveled about from place to
place, often leaving without collecting his wages. He was a typesetter and
reporter at Tiffin, Ohio, at Toledo, and at Cleveland. When Mr. J. W. Gray
of the Cleveland _Plain Dealer_ secured Ward's services as a reporter,
Ward was twenty-four years old and thought to be hopelessly indolent by
his previous employer. He soon became known as "that fool who writes for
the _Plain Dealer_"; and his comic situations and surprising arguments
were soon the general theme of conversation in the city. He was famous in
a month.
It was there and then that he assumed the pen name of Artemus Ward. He
began to give his humorous public talks in 1862 and was successful from
the first evening. His writings for _Vanity Fair_, New York, and all his
lectures were clearly original. He could never be accused of plagiarism or
imitation. Indeed, no one on earth could repeat his lectures with success
or equal Ward in continual fun making. He often assumed the role of an
idiot, but at the same time made the wisest observations and the cutest
sarcasms. His appearance on the stage even before he made his mechanical
nod was greeted with loud, hearty, and prolonged laughter. The saddest
forgot his sorrow, the most sedate gentleman began to shake, and the
crusty old maid broke out into the Ha! Ha! of a girl of sixteen.
We may read Ward's writings and feel something of his absurd humor when we
recall his posture as he stated solemnly that his wife's feet "were so
large that her toes came around the corner two minutes before she came
along"; but to feel the full force of the absurdity one needs to see
Ward's seeming impatience that anyone should take it as a joke or
disbelieve his plain statement.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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