Wilhelm Meister's apprenticeship and travels, vol. 1 (of 2)Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von
General
Wilhelm Meister's apprenticeship and travels, vol. 1 (of 2)
Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von
Bildungsromans; German fiction -- Translations into English; Self-realization -- Fiction
While he spoke, his eyes were attracted to the boy, who sat before her
on the floor, and was busy rattling a multitude of playthings. This
child, as Philina had observed, might be about three years of age; and
Wilhelm now conceived how that giddy creature, seldom elevated in her
phraseology, had likened it to the sun. For its cheerful eyes and full
countenance were shaded by the finest golden locks, which flowed round
in copious curls; dark, slender, softly bending eyebrows showed
themselves upon a brow of dazzling whiteness; and the living tinge of
health was glancing on its cheeks. "Sit by me," said Aurelia: "you are
looking at the happy child with admiration; in truth, I took it into my
arms with joy; I keep it carefully; yet, by it, too, I can measure the
extent of my sufferings; for they seldom let me feel the worth of such a
gift.
"Allow me," she continued, "to speak to you about myself and my destiny;
for I have it much at heart that you should not misunderstand me. I
thought I should have a few calm instants; and, accordingly, I sent for
you. You are now here, and the thread of my narrative is lost.
"'One more forsaken woman in the world!' you will say. You are a man.
You are thinking, 'What a noise she makes, the fool, about a necessary
evil; which, certainly as death, awaits a woman, when such is the
fidelity of men!' O my friend! if my fate were common, I would gladly
undergo a common evil; but it is so singular! why cannot I present it to
you in a mirror,--why not command some one to tell it you? Oh! had I,
had I been seduced, surprised, and afterwards forsaken, there would then
still be comfort in despair; but I am far more miserable. I have been my
own deceiver; I have wittingly betrayed myself; and this, this, is what
shall never be forgiven me."
"With noble feelings, such as yours," said Wilhelm, "you cannot be
entirely unhappy."
"And do you know to what I am indebted for my feelings?" asked Aurelia.
"To the worst education that ever threatened to contaminate a girl; to
the vilest examples for misleading the senses and inclinations.
"My mother dying early, the fairest years of my youth were spent with an
aunt, whose principle it was to despise the laws of decency. She
resigned herself headlong to every impulse, careless whether the object
of it proved her tyrant or her slave, so she might forget herself in
wild enjoyment.
"By children, with the pure, clear vision of innocence, what ideas of
men were necessarily formed in such a scene! How stolid, brutally bold,
importunate, unmannerly, was every one she allured! How sated, empty,
insolent, and insipid, as soon as he had had his wishes gratified! I
have seen this woman live, for years, humbled under the control of the
meanest creatures. What incidents she had to undergo! With what a front
she contrived to accommodate herself to her destiny; nay, with how much
skill, to wear these shameful fetters!
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