Humorous stories; London (England) -- Fiction; Orphans -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
About a year later I read in a newspaper a curious story. A man had
jumped overboard in mid-Channel and another had immediately gone over
after him. It was supposed to be a gallant attempt at rescue, and
the statement of a passenger that he saw the rescuer grip the other
man by the throat as if to choke him was not credited. The men bore
different names, but in personal appearance were remarkably like one
another. The phrase used was, “They might have been brothers.” A
description of the appearance left little doubt in my mind, and I
could fully believe that passenger’s story.
V
THE SPIRITS OF HANFORD GARDENS
The windfall which came to me from my adventure with “The Man behind
the Door” tempted me to engage some help in the domestic work of my
little flat. I cooked admirably, but I did other things less well
and they bored me; so I talked to my baker, a man of genial and
mature wisdom, and he said that I couldn’t do better than take Minnie
Saxe if I could get her. So I set out to engage Minnie Saxe; and in
the end Minnie Saxe engaged me.
She was a girl of sixteen, as flat as a board, with a small bun of
sand-coloured hair, a mouth like a steel vice, and an eye like a
gimlet.
Given the sex and the opportunities she would have been Napoleon. As
it was, she was a manager, given up to managing everything and
everybody, including her own weak-kneed father. To see her was to
know that she was capable, but I thought I ought to put the usual
questions as to previous experience and character. She waived them
aside.
“You don’t want to trouble about that, miss. I’m all right. If I
say I’ll do for you, I will, and you won’t ’ave no fault to find.
Now then, what do you do for yerself--I mean, for a livin’?”
“Well,” I said, “I have some independent means.”
“I see--money of yer own.”
“Yes, though not much. Then I had thoughts of some business. Lately
I’ve been writing a little--stories for a magazine.”
“I see, miss. Unsettled. Well, church or chapel?”
I fenced with that question discreetly, and she came off it at once
to tell me, almost threateningly, that I couldn’t have my breakfast
before eight. I said that even so late an hour as nine would suit me.
“And what time should I ’ave finished doin’ of you up if you didn’t
breakfast afore nine? That wouldn’t do neither. Well, I shall be
there soon after seven. You’ll ’ave your breakfast at eight and I
shall go as soon as I’m through with what’s wanted. I may look in in
the evening again, but that ’ull be accordin’. And my money will be
four shillin’ a week. I can but try it.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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