With his colleagues of the office Tully was a negligible quantity. He
was not unpopular—it was merely that he did not matter. His mother’s
control of the family funds was no doubt in part accountable for his
comrades’ neglect of his society; but his own habits and manners were
still more largely to blame, since besides being painstaking and
obedient he was unobtrusive and diffident. There was once a project on
foot in the office to take him out and make him drunk—but nothing came
of it because no one was sufficiently interested in William to give up
an evening to the job.
The crisis in his hitherto well-ordered life came when his mother died
suddenly. This was in October 1910. William had gone to the office as
usual that morning, leaving his mother apparently in her usual health;
he returned in the evening to blinds already drawn down. A neighbour
(female) was in waiting in the sitting-room and broke the great news
with a sense of its importance and her own; she took William’s hand,
told him with sniffs that it was the will of the Lord, and entered into
clinical details. William sat down rather suddenly when he realized
that there would be no one in future to annex his weekly earnings; then,
shocked by his lack of filial feeling, he endeavoured to produce an
emotion more suited to the solemn occasion. Disconcerted by a want of
success which he feared was apparent to his audience, he fidgeted,
dry-eyed and awkward—and finally, all things considered, acted well and
wisely by demanding to be left alone. To his relief the demand was
accepted as reasonable and proper in the first moments of his grief; the
sympathizer withdrew, wiping her eyes—unnecessarily—and hoping that God
would support him. He locked the door stealthily and stared at his
mother’s armchair; he was a little afraid of its emptiness, he was also
shocked and excited. He knew instinctively that more was to happen,
that life from now on would be something new and different.... The
arm-chair was empty; the masterful little woman who had borne him,
slapped him, managed him and cowed him—the masterful little woman was
dead! There was no one now to whom he was accountable; no one of whom he
was afraid.... He walked on tiptoe round the tiny room, feeling
strangely and pleasantly alive.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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