English drama (Comedy); English drama -- 17th century
_Wid._ Nay, sir, no more, pray. I will no more hearken to your foolish
love-motions, than to offers of arbitration. [_Exeunt_ Widow BLACKACRE
_and_ JERRY.
_Free._ Well, I'll follow thee yet; for he that has a pretension at
court, or to a widow, must never give over for a little ill-usage.
_Old._ Therefore, I'll get her by assiduity, patience, and long
sufferings, which you will not undergo; for you idle young fellows
leave off love when it comes to be business; and industry gets more
women than love.
_Free._ Ay, industry, the fool's and old man's merit.--But I'll
be industrious too, and make a business on't, and get her by law,
wrangling, and contests, and not by sufferings: and, because you are no
dangerous rival, I'll give thee counsel, major:--
If you litigious widow e'er would gain,
Sigh not to her, but by the law complain;
To her, as to a bawd, defendant sue
With statutes, and make justice pimp for you.
[_Exeunt._
ACT THE THIRD.
SCENE I.--_Westminster Hall._
_Enter_ MANLY _and_ FREEMAN, _two_ Sailors _behind._
_Man._ I hate this place worse than a man that has inherited a chancery
suit: I wish I were well out on't again.
_Free._ Why, you need not be afraid of this place: for a man without
money needs no more fear a crowd of lawyers than a crowd of pickpockets.
_Man._ This, the reverend of the law would have thought the palace or
residence of Justice; but, if it be, she lives here with the state of a
Turkish emperor, rarely seen; and besieged rather than defended by her
numerous black-guard here.
_Free._ Methinks 'tis like one of their own halls in Christmas time,
whither from all parts fools bring their money, to try by the dice (not
the worst judges) whether it shall be their own or no: but after a
tedious fretting and wrangling, they drop away all their money on both
sides; and, finding neither the better, at last go emptily and lovingly
away together to the tavern, joining their curses against the young
lawyer's box, that sweeps all, like the old ones.
_Man._ Spoken like a revelling Christmas lawyer.
_Free._ Yes, I was one, I confess, but was fain to leave the law, out
of conscience, and fall to making false musters: rather choose to cheat
the king than his subjects; plunder rather than take fees.
_Man._ Well, a plague and a purse-famine light on the law; and that
female limb of it who dragged me hither to-day! But prithee go see if,
in that crowd of daggled gowns there, [_Pointing to a crowd of_ Lawyers
_at the end of the stage_,] thou canst find her. [_Exit_ FREEMAN.
How hard it is to be a hypocrite!
At least to me, who am but newly so.
I thought it once a kind of knavery,
Nay, cowardice, to hide one's fault; but now
The common frailty, love, becomes my shame.
He must not know I love the ungrateful still,
Lest he contemn me more than she; for I,
It seems, can undergo a woman's scorn,
But not a man's--
_Enter_ FIDELIA.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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