Custom, which bids the thief from cart harangue All those that come to make and see him hang, Wills the damned poet (though he knows he's gone) To greet you ere his execution. Not having fear of critic 'fore his eyes, But still rejecting wholesome, good advice, He e'en is come to suffer here to-day For counterfeiting (as you judge) a play, Which is against dread Phœbus highest treason; Damn, damning judges, therefore, you have reason:-- You he does mean who, for the selfsame fault, That damning privilege of yours have bought. So the huge bankers, when they needs must fail, Send the small brothers of their trade to jail; Whilst they, by breaking, gentlemen are made, Then, more than any, scorn poor men o' the trade. You hardened renegado poets, who Treat rhyming poets worse than Turk would do, But vent your heathenish rage, hang, draw, and quarter; His Muse will die to-day a fleering martyr; Since for bald jest, dull libel, or lampoon, There are who suffer persecution With the undaunted briskness of buffoon, And strict professors live of raillery, Defying porter's-lodge, or pillory. For those who yet write on our poet's fate, Should as co-sufferers commiserate: But he in vain their pity now would crave, Who for themselves, alas! no pity have, And their own gasping credit will not save; And those, much less, our criminal would spare, Who ne'er in rhyme transgress;--if such there are. Well then, who nothing hopes, need nothing fear: And he, before your cruel votes shall do it, By his despair declares himself no poet. _DRAMATIS PERSONÆ._ Mr. RANGER, Mr. VINCENT, Mr. VALENTINE, Young Gentlemen of the town. Alderman GRIPE, seemingly precise, but a covetous, lecherous, old Usurer of the city. Sir SIMON ADDLEPLOT, a Coxcomb, always in pursuit of women of great fortunes. Mr. DAPPERWIT, a brisk, conceited, half-witted fellow of the town. Mrs. CROSSBITE'S Landlord, and his Prentices, Servants, Waiters, and other Attendants. CHRISTINA, VALENTINE'S Mistress. LYDIA, RANGER'S Mistress. Lady FLIPPANT, GRIPE'S Sister, an affected Widow in distress for a husband, though still declaiming against marriage. Mrs. MARTHA, GRIPE'S Daughter. Mrs. JOYNER, a Match-maker, or precise city bawd. Mrs. CROSSBITE, an old cheating jill, and bawd to her Daughter. Miss LUCY, Mrs. CROSSBITE'S Daughter. ISABEL, CHRISTINA'S Woman. LEONORE, Servant to LYDIA. SCENE--LONDON. _LOVE IN A WOOD; OR, ST. JAMES'S PARK._ ACT THE FIRST. SCENE I.--GRIPE'S _House, in the evening._ _Enter_ Lady FLIPPANT _and_ Mrs. JOYNER. _Lady Flip._ Not a husband to be had for money!--Come, come, I might have been a better housewife for myself, as the world goes now, if I had dealt for an heir with his guardian, uncle, or mother-in-law; and you are no better than a chouse, a cheat. _Mrs. Joyn._ I a cheat, madam! _L. Flip._ I am out of my money, and patience too.