_Mrs. Joyn._ Do not run out of your patience, whatever you do:--'tis a necessary virtue for a widow without a jointure, in truly. _L. Flip._ Vile woman! though my fortune be something wasted, my person's in good repair. If I had not depended on you, I had had a husband before this time. When I gave you the last five pounds, did you not promise I should be married by Christmas? _Mrs. Joyn._ And I had kept my promise if you had co-operated. _L. Flip._ Co-operated! what should I have done? 'Tis well known no woman breathing could use more industry to get her a husband than I have. Has not my husband's 'scutcheon walked as much ground as the citizens' signs since the Fire?--that no quarter of the town might be ignorant of the widow Flippant. _Mrs. Joyn._ 'Tis well known, madam, indeed. _L. Flip._ Have I not owned myself (against my stomach) the relict of a citizen, to credit my fortune? _Mrs. Joyn._ 'Tis confessed, madam. _L. Flip._ Have I not constantly kept Covent-Garden church, St. Martin's, the playhouses, Hyde Park, Mulberry garden,[26] and all the other public marts where widows and maids are exposed? _Mrs. Joyn._ Far be it from me to think you have an aversion to a husband. But why, madam, have you refused so many good offers? _L. Flip._ Good offers, Mrs. Joyner! I'll be sworn I never had an offer since my late husband's.--If I had an offer, Mrs. Joyner!--there's the thing, Mrs. Joyner. _Mrs. Joyn._ Then your frequent and public detestation of marriage is thought real; and if you have had no offer, there's the thing, madam. _L. Flip._ I cannot deny but I always rail against marriage;--which is the widow's way to it certainly. _Mrs. Joyn._ 'Tis the desperate way of the desperate widows, in truly. _L. Flip._ Would you have us as tractable as the wenches that eat oatmeal, and fooled like them too? _Mrs Joyn._ If nobody were wiser than I, I should think, since the widow wants the natural allurement which the virgin has, you ought to give men all other encouragements, in truly. _L. Flip._ Therefore, on the contrary, because the widow's fortune (whether supposed or real) is her chiefest bait, the more chary she seems of it, and the more she withdraws it, the more eagerly the busy gaping fry will bite. With us widows, husbands are got like bishoprics, by saying "No:" and I tell you, a young heir is as shy of a widow as of a rook, to my knowledge. _Mrs. Joyn._ I can allege nothing against your practice--but your ill success; and indeed you must use another method with Sir Simon Addleplot. _L. Flip._ Will he be at your house at the hour? _Mrs. Joyn._ He'll be there by ten:--'tis now nine. I'll warrant you he will not fail. _L. Flip._ I'll warrant you then I will not fail:--for 'tis more than time I were sped. _Mrs. Joyn._ Mr. Dapperwit has not been too busy with you, I hope?--Your experience has taught you to prevent a mischance.