=Wall-papers.=--... The worst of amateur carving, as an American observer has aptly remarked, is that the gravy so seldom matches the colour of the wall paper.... [_The new Volumes also contain Articles on TURTLE SOUP, POKER WORK, and WILLIAM MORRIS._] =War Office.= _See_ FOURTH FLOOR FLATS. =Whitewash.= _See_ SPECIAL COMMISSIONS. Superb Plate from the Article on =Tomb-Building=, by Prof. Algernon Ashton, in the New Volumes of the INSIDECOMPLETUAR BRITANNIAWARE. [Illustration: TOMB INSPECTOR AT WORK.] SIGNOR MACARONI’S TRIUMPH. _From the Special Article (61 pages) by Sir WILLIAM PREECE._ =Wireless Telegraphy.=--... The main principle of the system, by which messages can be transmitted without wires above or below ground, was already established by Professor John Oliver Lodge and myself, before the celebrated Italian _chef_ conceived the idea of employing these tubes of flour for the purpose. The Macaroni system, as it is now generally called, has this immense advantage over all others, that in moments of emergency the entire plant can be utilised as a nutritious article of diet, while the great reduction in the number of poles required renders it peculiarly acceptable to the German Emperor ... who has already dispatched several macaronigrams.... [_The New Volumes also contain Articles on PAINLESS DENTISTRY, LEGLESS BARONETS, and HAIRLESS DRAMATISTS._] A GREAT YACHTSMAN. [_From the Specially Blended Article by Sir THOMAS LIPTON, Bart._] =Yachting.=--... I was born at Youghal. The first thing I can remember is a discussion between my parents as to what my name should be. My mother wanted me to be called Guelph; but my father would not agree. ‘No,’ said my father, ‘he shall be called Thomas, because it begins with tea.’ I was not an unhappy child, but it was said in the family that I took out a whine licence very early. My passion for the water seems to have begun incredibly soon. I am told that before I could walk or speak I would spend hours propped against the bath racing the soap-dish against the hair-brush. My favourite reading was the _Tailor and Cutter_ and the _Pilot_. At Eton I was of course a wet bob. But I did not neglect my studies. I had Bacon by heart, and I won a prize for an essay on the probable route of the exodus of the Sons of Ham, which I traced to Africa _viâ_ the City Road. From Eton I proceeded to Cambridge, where I soon became an Elder Brother of Trinity Hall and a Fellow of Kings. I took kindly to golf, at which I was famed for my tea-shots, but my real taste all lay in an aquatic direction, and in my second year I obtained my blue-jacket as the most accomplished waterman on the Cam. [_The New Volumes also contain Articles on CUP-LIFTING, AMERICAN CHIVALRY, and TANNIN._] It Rejuvenates.