Wisdom while you wait : $b Being a foretaste of the glories of the 'Insidecompletuar Britanniaware' ...Lucas, E. V. (Edward Verrall)
General
Wisdom while you wait : $b Being a foretaste of the glories of the 'Insidecompletuar Britanniaware' ...
Lucas, E. V. (Edward Verrall)
Encyclopaedia Britannica -- Humor; English wit and humor
‘You are old, Father William, yet nimble and fleet.
How kept you your sinews so supple?’
‘By reading this Supplement, slick and complete;
You ought to subscribe for a couple.’
Specimen Interview between the Editor and a Contributor.
_E._ Good morning, Mr. Blank; have you done the Spurgeon?
_C._ I have it with me.
_E._ And the Herbert Spencer?
_C._ You shall have it to-morrow.
_E._ That’s good. And now I want you to tackle Bimetallism, the Beef
Trust, and a life of Ruskin. Can I have them by Wednesday morning?
_C._ Certainly.
_E._ And, Mr. Blank----?
_C._ Yes.
_E._ Please contrive not to get the facts mixed this time. When you
sent in your two last articles, you credited Lord Salisbury with the
‘Washington Post,’ and stated that Sousa had never really understood
the art of ingratiating himself with the wives of Tory wire-pullers.
SOME UNSOLICITED TESTIMONIALS.
To the Housewife.
It should be borne in mind that there is
NO NEED TO BE LITERARY
to find the INSIDECOMPLETUAR useful.
When
A CASTER IS OFF THE PIANO
a single volume will remedy the defect.
Two volumes placed in his chair will
MAKE BABY HIGHER.
A pile of ten to twenty volumes is
AS GOOD AS A STEP-LADDER.
Ranged in the form of a Pyramid, they will agreeably recall
THE EXPLOITS OF CHEOPS.
In the event of a sudden arrival, or birth in the family, a serviceable
SPARE BEDROOM
can actually be built out of the supplementary volumes.
To Landscape Gardeners.
Our volumes are indispensable in the rapid and effective construction
of rockeries.
* * * * *
Mr. Alfred Austin writes:--
_‘Swinford Old Manor._
I don’t know what the garden that I love would be like without your
entertaining work. Our _Sedum maximum_ has never thriven with such
luxuriance as it does this year wedged comfortably between vol. vii.
and vol. xciii.’
* * * * *
Elizabeth, writing from Germany, says:--
‘Our INSIDECOMPLETUAR rockery is beyond praise. I regret to say,
however, that the gardener inadvertently left a volume on the path, and
the Man of Wrath fell over it and stubbed his toe. His temper has since
been something too fearful.’
For Low-lying Districts.
Residents in the fen country or districts liable to sudden inundation
will find the volumes invaluable in constructing
A SOLID CAUSEWAY
from their houses to the dry land.
The Dean of Ely writes:--
‘Nothing but your inestimable volumes saved many of my poor flock
during our recent disastrous floods. There is not a dry page in the
whole set.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account