Wisdom while you wait : $b Being a foretaste of the glories of the 'Insidecompletuar Britanniaware' ... — John Shaqi
Wisdom while you wait : $b Being a foretaste of the glories of the 'Insidecompletuar Britanniaware' ...Lucas, E. V. (Edward Verrall)
General
Wisdom while you wait : $b Being a foretaste of the glories of the 'Insidecompletuar Britanniaware' ...
Lucas, E. V. (Edward Verrall)
Encyclopaedia Britannica -- Humor; English wit and humor
FOR DRAMA--
Messrs. Klaw and Erlanger.
FOR EFFICIENCY--
Mr. Arnold White.
FOR DRESS--
Lady Harberton.
FOR MEDICINE--Dr. Williams.
Female Associate Editors.
MRS. KENDAL.
MRS. ARIA.
MADAME SARAH GRAND.
KATE REILY.
LADY JEUNE.
MISS LOUIE FREEAR.
MISS MARIE CORELLI.
Sub-Editors.
THERE ARE TWENTY OF THESE.
Sub-Sub-Editors.
THERE ARE TWENTY OF THESE TOO.
Circular Addresser.
THE EDITOR OF ‘THE SPHERE.’
PREFACE.
The publishers cannot permit this modest harbinger of their great
enterprise to steal into the world without stating how thoroughly they
believe in the excellence of their INSIDECOMPLETUAR, and how intense
an emotion of gratitude fills their bosoms towards every one who has
helped them in their stupendous production. To editors, advertising
agents, compositors, and office-boys alike their hearts go forth in a
flood of unctuous and oleaginous fellowship.
It is impossible for the publishers to over-estimate the pleasure which
they felt on learning that Messrs. Derry and Toms were willing to join
the editorial staff.
The news that came a few minutes later to the effect that Mr. Daniel
Leno would also put his services at their disposal moved them to
transports of gratification; only excelled by the fainting fit of
rapture into which they subsided on ascertaining that Messrs. Salmon
and Gluckstein’s reluctance to act had been at length overcome by the
tactful intercession of Bishop Welldon.
They cannot refrain from pointing out with pardonable pride that their
columns contain no fewer than forty million words of text, and that if
the entire staff of contributors were placed in a horizontal position,
the feet of one touching the head of another, they would extend in
unbroken continuity from
DENMARK HILL TO DELHI.
Again, if the collective brain avoirdupois of these gifted creatures
were placed in the scale it would cause
1600 WHITE ELEPHANTS
to kick the beam with fatal violence.
Having, in duty to ourselves and our contributors, stated these simple
but convincing facts, we have only to lift the curtain and invite
our myriad subscribers to fall to upon the eupeptic and unparalleled
banquet which it has been our privilege to provide.
_December_, 1902.
The Insidecompletuar Britanniaware.
TERMS, MECHANICAL DEVICES, AND WARNINGS.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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