Wisdom while you wait : $b Being a foretaste of the glories of the 'Insidecompletuar Britanniaware' ...Lucas, E. V. (Edward Verrall)
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Wisdom while you wait : $b Being a foretaste of the glories of the 'Insidecompletuar Britanniaware' ...
Lucas, E. V. (Edward Verrall)
Encyclopaedia Britannica -- Humor; English wit and humor
* * * * *
Miss Louie Freear writes: ‘I do not know where I should have been
without your Titan crane. Before you could say knife it had picked up
three volumes and hurled them through the drawing-room ceiling. As they
seem to be irretrievably stuck in the plaster, will you please send
three more. As far as we can tell by a process of simple subtraction
they are vols. xiv., xxiii., and lxiv.’
Madame Clara Butt writes: ‘I find it matchless for lifting Mother’s
Joy.’
Sir Thomas Lipton, Bart., writes: ‘It is splendid. I really believe it
would lift the Cup!’
EXTRACTS FROM VARIOUS ARTICLES
in the New Volumes of the
Insidecompletuar Britanniaware
N.B.--_These are only portions of the Articles. The Articles are heaps
longer._
ADVICE TO EMIGRANTS.
_From the Article (80 pages) specially contributed by LADY WARWICK._
=Africa.=--... This dark yet fascinating continent, which extends from
the Cape to Cairo and from the Bight of Benin to the Beit of Park
Lane, Africa, the home of the gorilla, the ju-ju, the kopje, and the
blockhouse, has recently loomed large in the public eye.... To discuss
the recent military operations in view of their masterly treatment
by Lady Jeune in another place [see _The Boer War, its History and
Lessons_], would savour of supererogation. It is enough to state here
that the women were splendid, especially at the Mount Nelson Hotel. The
principal exports of Africa at the present moment are Boer Generals,
Reservists, and books on the war. The principal import is Joe....
[_The New Volume also contains Articles on COLD STORAGE, ORIEL
SCHOLARS, CORDITE, &c._]
THE WILD WEST.
_From the Special Article (68 pages) by LORD KELVIN, Mr. CHARLES
HAWTREY, and Mrs. CARRIE NATION_:
=America.=--... The Fauna of America is extensive and peculiar. Unlike
other civilised countries, dangerous wild beasts and birds of prey
are commonly encountered in the most populous districts. Nothing can
exceed the ferocity of the Trust Fowl, while whole regions of New
York are rendered unsafe by the ravages of the Tammany Bos and the
Tammany Tiger. Yet alongside these examples of barbarous atavism,
one encounters evidences of singular refinement and humanity. Mr.
Roosevelt, though originally a cowboy, has set his face like a flint
against the tyranny of the Beef Trust, and only a superficial observer
would count Mr. Hay as a man of straw. Furthermore, the humanising
influence of American culture is signally displayed by its principal
exports, which include, amongst other products, J. Pierpont Morgan,
canned peaches, Mr. Duke, duchesses, R. G. Knowles, coon songs, Quaker
oats, Tabs, Christian Science, Virginia hams, cocktails, Major Pond,
Honeysuckles, Bees, and Edna May....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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