* * * * * When Europe completes the process of Christianizing China that nation will have disappeared from the map. The truth-seeker never digs in the columns of the political newspaper. * * * * * A money shaver with a conscience would soon be poorer than his clients. * * * * * I have read of the dog-like affection of woman--I have seen their cat-like characteristics. * * * * * Bread snatched from the poor becomes a stone in the rich man's belly. He has only to eat his fill to sink. * * * * * What a gas lamp is to a moth, the same is a rose diamond to a woman--neither see the danger till they are dead. * * * * * In olden times Sodom and Gomorrah swallowed up the wicked. In modern times Chicago swallows up the good. * * * * * Chinaman's soliloquy. "First come missionary, big prayers, little book. Singee 'Peace on earth and good willee to all men.' Russian Bear swallow Manchuria, French Eagle strippe off Yellow Jacket, Bille Emperor stealee Peacock Feather, English Lion grabbe Pig Tail. Damme, hungry lion want everything." * * * * * Slander is more subtile than any microbe. * * * * * You cannot squander ten thousand a year and then balance the account by thrusting a stale bun, dipped in charity soup, into a beggar's hand. * * * * * Lolling on a velvet cushion in a fashionable church will not be a valid answer when you meet the poor girl 'beyond' whom you ground down to make trousers for twenty cents a pair. You didn't do it? You wore the trousers, it's all the same. * * * * * A cynic's description of the honeymoon-- Kisses allopathic. Kisses homeopathic. The cold douche. Hot mustard plasters. * * * * * A lawyer's description of matrimony in the United States-- Court--Appeal. The suit filed. Rival--an interpleader. Marriage. Judgement given. Household expenses. Costs. Family jars. Proceedings for alimony. Final hearing. Divorce absolute. Quit claim. Deed to another man. * * * * * The sea-side resorts attract many queer fish. * * * * * The politician is what the people make him. * * * * * The child which cries for bread is a menace to the state. * * * * * Infamy may rise to such a height as to become famous. * * * * * More women have been killed by innuendo than by hard work. * * * * * To the small boy a circus is more alluring than the Psalms of Solomon. * * * * *