Eternity is an endless chain whose links are youth, old age and decay. * * * * * The shark turns on his back to devour his prey--the hypocrite prays that he may devour. * * * * * The money lender should provide himself with an asbestos overcoat when he leaves this world. * * * * * Every girl in store or office means a man without employment. Every man without employment is a man incapable of supporting a wife. Do you see the inevitable result? * * * * * Laughter is the doctor's deadliest enemy. * * * * * Praise is the cheapest coin but more potent than gold. * * * * * If all men were brothers nations would cease to exist. * * * * * Years are required to make a brutal man--hours, a woman. * * * * * We praise God for our victories. What does the other fellow do? * * * * * Patriotism is but another name for, 'love yourself and hate your neighbors.' * * * * * If churches were made as attractive as gin palaces, the former, not the latter, would be open six days in the week. * * * * * When you get there, you will find that Eternal Justice is not built on the departmental store system. Some pale-faced girl will offer the evidence. * * * * * Once Pity and Charity perched on every cloistered gate and cried, 'welcome.' Now they only venture forth on public occasions, when they will be seen of all men. * * * * * The cat's serenade gives tone to the back yard. * * * * * Mental problem. Suicide or side-tracked. Which? * * * * * The laugh of a child is sweeter to God than a forty minute prayer. * * * * * The Klondike is as alluring as a pretty woman and equally as freakish. * * * * * The greatness of the Yukon is only surpassed by the greatness of its liars. * * * * * Innocence is a rose bud with a worm outside waiting to gnaw a hole in it. * * * * * A blood-sucker on a boy's toe looks bigger to him than a sea-serpent to a man. * * * * * An Easter bonnet is more satisfying to a woman than the most eloquent sermon. * * * * * The witch doctor taboos a banana tree, the parson the joyous dance. Both are bigots. * * * * * The nigger who has learned to drink rum does not regard civilization as an unmixed blessing. * * * * * The beautiful is eternal. * * * * *