England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Stepmothers -- Fiction
Lottie went home with her head in the clouds; was she indeed “born to
luck”? Was she going to be transplanted at once without the tedious
probation which even in poetry, even in story-books, the good heroine
has generally to go through, into that heaven of wealth and rank and
luxurious surroundings which she felt to be her proper sphere? It was
not that Lottie cared for luxury in its vulgarer forms; she liked what
was beautiful and stately--the large noble rooms, the dignified aspect
which life bore when unconnected with those small schemes and
strugglings in which her existence was spent; but above all she liked,
it must be allowed, to be uppermost, to feel herself on the highest
round of the ladder--and hated and resisted with all her soul the idea
of being inferior to anybody. This was the thing above all others which
Lottie could not bear. She had been brought up with the idea that she
belonged by right of nature to the upper classes, a caste entirely
removed by immutable decree of Providence from shop-keepers and persons
engaged in trade, and to whom it was comparatively immaterial whether
they were poor or rich, nothing being able to alter the birthright
which united them with all that was high and separated them from all
that was low. But this right had not been acknowledged at St. Michael’s.
She and her family had been mixed up in the crowd along with the
O’Shaughnessys, and other unexalted people; and nobody, not even the
O’Shaughnessys, had been impressed by the long descent of the Despard
family and its unblemished gentility. Something else then evidently was
requisite to raise her to her proper place, to the sphere to which she
belonged. Lottie would not have minded poverty, or difficulty, or hard
work, had she been secure of her “position”; but that was just the thing
of which in present circumstances she was least secure. It was for this
reason that Lady Caroline’s notice was sweet to her--for this that she
had been so deeply disappointed when no sign of amity was accorded to
her on the wedding-day. And this was why her heart leapt with such
bewildering hope and excitement at the new event in her career. She did
not know Mr. Ridsdale; perhaps his admiration or even his love were
little worth having; and nothing but what are called interested motives
could have possibly moved Lottie to the thrill of pleasure with which
she contemplated his supposed attachment. A girl whose head is turned by
the mere idea of a lover who can elevate her above her neighbours,
without any possibility of love on her part to excuse the bedazzlement,
is not a very fine or noble image; yet Lottie’s head was turned, not
vulgarly, not meanly, but with an intoxication that was full of poetry
and all that is most ethereal in romance. A tender, exquisite gratitude
to the man who thus seemed to have chosen her, without any virtue of
hers, filled her heart; and to the great lady who, though so lofty, and
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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