The woman in his arms was still clinging to him, her arms tight about
his shoulders, her body moving with the slow, voluptuous amorousness
that kisses could distract but for an instant. She seemed unaware
that he had found the metal disk, so entranced was she by the soaring
breathlessness of a moment from which the mechanical was by necessity
barred and kept at bay by love's physical rapture in a temple of love's
own choosing. She was breathing heavily now, her eyes glazed, a deep
flush suffusing her face and throat.
But Loring's pulses were no longer pounding. Her kisses were feverish
and had to be returned, but he returned them now without enthusiasm, a
cold fear constricting the muscles of his heart. A dozen frightening
questions clamored in his mind for answers that did not satisfy him,
and did nothing to lessen his dread.
Was the disk a surgical device of some sort? If it was, what was its
purpose and function? A metal plate inserted in a man's skull could
protect his brain from damage, if natural suturing failed. But why
should a metal device be embedded in the flesh of a woman's thigh,
just above her right knee? What possible purpose could it serve?
Had some unusual and tragic accident left her partially paralyzed? Was
the metal disk a surgical device designed to restore the circulation
or correct the impaired muscular flexibility of an injured limb? An
electrical device? It seemed probable, since touching it had given him
a shock. But the rest of it was hard to accept. The shock had been more
than physical. Momentarily it had done something to his mind, chilling
him to the core, and making him remember something that he had once
read--that a man in the grip of stark fear can lose all sexual drive.
But why had his discovery of the disk so profoundly alarmed him? Why
had he experienced such sharply mounting apprehension? It was merely
an electrically charged metal appliance, small, flat and circular
and--yes, not unlike a hearing aid. Could it be a hearing aid? He would
have liked to believe so, but it seemed unlikely. No woman, however
vain, would wear a hearing aid on her right thigh.
Her hands were moving back and forth across his back, and she was
moaning a little and pressing her lips against his throat. He knew that
he could not maintain the pretense of desire much longer, that she
would begin to suspect he was responding like an automaton, with the
desperate clumsiness of a man whom heated kisses and the most fervent
of body movements could no longer arouse.
He felt detached, remote in some vital part of himself, with a cold
objectivity growing in his mind which he could neither explain
nor understand. There was a pain in his heart also, an agony of
indecision. He was backed up against the bed now, his arms still tight
about her, but love's culmination would now be a mockery and something
deep in his nature rebelled at carrying pretense that far.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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