The expression of Mr. Taxater’s face at that moment was so sympathetic,
and yet so grave, that one would hardly have been surprised to hear
him utter the conventional formula of a priest awaiting confession.
Though unuttered, the sacred formula must have been telepathically
communicated, for Vennie continued without a pause, holding her hands
behind her back, and looking on the ground. “Ever since our last
serious conversation--do you remember?--after Easter, I have been
thinking so much about that phrase of yours, referring to the Pope, as
the eternal living defender of the idea of Love as the secret of the
universe. Mr. Clavering talks to me about love--you know what I mean,”
she smiled and blushed prettily, with a quick lifting of her head, “but
he never gives me the feeling of something real and actual which we can
approach on earth--something personal, I mean. And I have been feeling
so much lately that this is what I want. Mr. Clavering is very gentle
with me when I try to explain my difficulties to him; but I don’t think
he really understands. The way he talks is beautiful and inspiring--but
it somehow sounds like poetry. It does not give me anything to lay
hands on.” And she looked into Mr. Taxater’s face with a pathetic
wide-eyed appeal, as if he were able to call down angels from heaven.
“Dear child,” said the diplomatist, “I know only too well what you
mean. Yes, that is the unfortunate and necessary limitation of a
heretical church. It can only offer mystic and poetic consolations. It
has lost touch with the one true Vine, and consequently the full stream
of life-giving sap cannot flow through its veins.”
“But I have felt so strengthened,” said Vennie mournfully, “by the
sacrament in our Church; so strengthened and inspired! It seems
dreadful that it should all be a sort of mockery.”
“Do not speak like that, dear child,” said Mr. Taxater. “God is good;
and in his knowledge of our weakness he permits us to taste of his
mystery even in forbidden cups. The motive in your heart, the faith
in your soul, have been pure; and God has given to them some measure,
though but an imperfect one, of what he will grant to your complete
obedience.”
Vennie bent down and picking up a swathe of sweet-scented hay twisted
it thoughtfully in her fingers. “God has indeed been working miracles
on your behalf,” continued Mr. Taxater. “It must have been your
guardian angel that led me to speak to you as I did at that time. For
in future, I regret to say, I shall be less free. But the good work has
been done. The seed has been sown. What follows must be at your own
initiative.”
Vennie looked at him, puzzled, and rather alarmed. “Why do you say you
will be less free? Are we going to have no more lovely conversations at
the bottom of our orchard? Are you going to be too busy to see me at
all?”
Mr. Taxater smiled. “Oh no, it isn’t as bad as that,” he said. “It is
only that I have just faithfully promised your mother not to convert
you to Catholicism.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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