Woodbarrow Farm: Play in Three ActsJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Woodbarrow Farm: Play in Three Acts
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English drama
Clara. (_Who has just crossed over and joined the group l. to Mrs. R.
who is just about quitting the room by door l. lower._) Do you allow
your little boy to play billiards, Mrs. Rollitt? I don’t think I should
if I had charge of him. (_Playfully._)
Mrs. R. Oh, the more he’s up to every sort o’ game that’s played the
better for him, to my thinking.
(_Exit Mrs. R. l._)
Allen. (_Laughing._) Oh, it keeps me at home out of mischief, like.
(_Moves to upper door L._) Come and have a look at it. (_Goes up c._)
Baron. (_As they go._) Ach, billiards iz a beaudiful game. (_Aside to
Luke._) But you cannot vin much at id, id take so dam long.
(_Exeunt all but Guss. and Deb. [l.]--all talking as they go. Guss. and
Deb. near fireplace._)
Deb. (_r._) Well, I’m afraid, Mr. Gussett, I must really go now. (_Goes
down stage. Guss. goes l. c. and stops her._)
Guss. (_Getting between her and the door l. to which she is backing._)
Oh, no, don’t go. Do you know, I shall really think you are trying to
avoid me.
Deb. (_Retreating behind table--Guss. takes a step._) Oh, not at all.
Guss. (_c. gets l. of r. c. table._) Ah, so pleasant to hear you say so.
You know, Miss Deacon, I so want you to like me.
Deb. Yes, well--I do very much, only I can’t stop to do it now, because
you see aunt wants me. (_Moves c. up stage. Guss. stops her. Bus. of
Deb. trying to get away and of Guss. cutting her off and trying to get
near her; is kept up throughout the scene._)
Guss. Ah, but your aunt sees so much of you and I can see so little.
Deb. (_Laughing, walks l. c. up stage. Guss. at head of sofa._) I’m
afraid there’s not very much more of me to see. I must go really,
because we have got to do some shopping this morning.
Guss. Ah, let me come with you?
Deb. Oh, no, I won’t tax your kindness. I know you men hate shopping,
and we are going into drapers’ and dressmakers’ and all sorts of
dreadful places, (_c._)
Guss. Ah, they will not be dreadful if you are there, Miss Deacon.
Deb. And aunt always takes such a long time shopping. (_Goes up c._)
Never can make up her mind, and I’m worse still, and--(_makes movement,
Guss. moves behind settle and stops her down l._)
Guss. Ah, the longer you take, the better I shall like it. I shall enjoy
coming, I assure you.
Deb. (_Getting more and more cross, comes r.c._) Well you know I really
don’t think you will; and really, Mr. Gussett--(_turns r.a little._)
Guss. (_Interrupting._) Ah, I know better. No, I quite insist upon
coming.
Deb. (_With calm, suppressed temper._) Ah, all right, Mr. Gussett, you
shall. (_Crossing l. meets Mrs. R. just entering l._) Aunt, I want you.
(_Turning her round again._)
Mrs. R. (_l._) Why, whatever’s the--
Deb. I’ll tell you, come along.
(_Exeunt Mrs. R. and Deb. l._)
Guss. (_r. turns and arranges his moustache in glass over chimney_).
Might do worse, Gussy, my boy. (_Turns round again._) She’s not a bad
little thing, lick her into shape a bit.
(_Enter Luke, upper l._)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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