Woodbarrow Farm: Play in Three ActsJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Woodbarrow Farm: Play in Three Acts
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English drama
Luke. (_Crossing to table and taking up his hat._) Coming?
Guss. No, dear boy. (_Laughing._) Got a little job on.
Luke. Oh, on the war-path?
Guss. Yes--well, I may as well keep it in hand--Chawbacon will make her
good for a thousand or two, I expect--if nothing better turns up.
Luke. Ah--wish you luck--she’ll be a good match for you, I think, Gussy.
(_Exit Luke c._)
(_Enter Mrs. R. and Deb. lower door l. Both are wearing old-fashioned
big country shawls, and big bonnets. Deb. evidently has on one of her
aunt’s. Their dress altogether is as extravagant as comedy will permit,
and has evidently been hastily put on. Deb. also carries a big country
hand-basket covered with a cloth, the neck of a bottle sticking
prominently out, and a huge gamp. Deb. smothering her laughter_).
Deb. (_Crossing r.c._) We are quite ready, Mr. Gussett
Mrs. R. Yes, we are quite ready.
Guss. (_Who has regarded them with a horrified stare._) Ah, yes, if you
will wait a minute I think I will call a cab.
Deb. Oh, we’d rather walk, thank you--you would rather walk, wouldn’t
you, aunt?
Mrs. R. Oh, I’ve made up my mind for a walk.
Deb. Yes, we would both rather walk. Will you give your arm to aunty,
Mr. Gussett? (_Guss. crosses to c._) And be very careful of her at the
crossings, because she’s rather nervous, and so am I.
Deb. (_r.c. handing the basket to Guss._) You won’t mind carrying the
basket, will you, Mr. Gussett, because it’s so heavy? (_He takes it
bewildered and helpless._)
(_As Guss., Deb. and Mrs. R. reach door c., enter Allen and Clara l.
upper e._)
Allen. Hulloa! Where be thee off to?
Deb. Down Regent street, and up--Piccadilly, I think you call it.
Good-bye.
(_Exeunt Mrs. R., Deb. and Guss. c._)
Clara. (_Comes l. laughing._) I should like to be there to see the Hon.
Tom Gussett at the crossings.
Allen. (_Half amused, half cross._) Ah, her be a madcap, her be, that
girl. What makes thee so anxious that I should join the company?
Clara. (_Sitting l. on sofa, Allen stands by her, behind sofa, leaning
over._) Why, don’t you see, poor papa could be secretary if you joined.
They would let you nominate him, and we should be so glad to be earning
something--(_very low_)--and we are so poor. (_Laying her hand on him._)
Do join, Allen, for my sake.
Allen. (_Yielding--back of sofa._) Ah, thee don’t know how hard thee
makes it for me to say no.
Clara. Then don’t say it--it would make me so happy. (_Looking up at
him._)
Allen. It would?
Clara. (_Laying her hand as if unwittingly on his._)
And I should think you--(_drooping her head._) Ah! I’d better not say
what I should think you.
Allen. Ah, well, lass, if you wish it, I will then.
Clara. You will really?
Allen. Yes--if it will make thee happy I will. And now let’s talk about
yourself. (_Sits l. next to Clara._) Thee is the company I most wants to
join. How have thee been getting on?
Clara. (_Looking down._) Oh, dear!
Allen. What does “Oh dear” mean?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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