MRS. C. (_knowingly, R._) No, my dear; if Marmy had taken us anywhere it would have been to Italy. WOOD. (_still more quickly, L._) No, no, no; in short, I wish it to be distinctly understood, that having already paid two visits to the---- MRS. C. (_interrupting_) Yes, yes; never mind, Marmy, if you are a good boy, you shall take us to Italy next year! We'll climb up Mount Vesuvius together, Marmy--to the very top, Marmy! (_with enthusiasm_) WOOD. (_aside, after a savage look at her_) Only let me once get her there, and I'll plunge her headforemost into the crater. MRS. C. In the meantime let us only think of London. MRS. W. Yes, dear; delightful London! Remember, this is my first visit to the Metropolis! You have been there, I suppose? (_to WOODCOCK_) WOOD. (_forgetting himself_) Ha, ha! I should rather think I have--I mean, I've passed through it once or twice. MRS. C. Yes; but only on business. WOOD. Of course--only on business. (_aside_) What an atrocious humbug I am! MRS. C. And therefore it will be quite as much a novelty to _him_ as to _you._ WOOD. Yes. (_aside_) Novelty! to a man who has had twenty years of it! I'm in for it--I'm booked for a second innings. Never mind: there's _one_ point on which they'll find me firm and immovable as Gibraltar itself, and that is, that having already paid two visits to the---- _Enter MRS. LARKINGS in travelling dress, door R. 2 E._ MRS. L. (_R. C._) Well, good people? but I needn't ask--I see by your happy faces (_WOODCOCK puts on a grin_) that my plan of the campaign has met with universal approbation. MRS. C. (_R._) Yes, we're all charmed with it! Mr. Woodcock especially! he positively can't find words to express his delight! MRS. L. (_L. C._) Is it to be wondered at, that having hitherto led so calm, so tranquil, so sedate a life, (_looking with intention at WOODCOCK_) he should long to taste the forbidden fruit? ha, ha! My only fear is, that when he once begins there'll be no stopping him! ha, ha, ha! WOOD. (_L._) Ha, ha, ha! (_making a savage face at MRS. LARKINGS, aside_) MRS. L. Here, ladies, is a programme I have drawn up of your first three weeks' "Life in London," (_shewing a paper_) an incessant, unflagging whirl of dissipation, I promise you. By-the-bye, I quite forgot to mention that Mr. Larkings has placed his riding horses at your disposal. MRS. C. How delightful! I long to be in the saddle. WOOD. (_aside, and looking at MRS. CARVER_) She'll never stop in it unless she's tied in, she's too round, she'll roll off, to a certainty! MRS. W. (_to MRS. LARKINGS_) And can you, will you indeed fulfil all your delightful promises?