WOOD. (_after a stare of astonishment_) Dance? a woman of her substance! she couldn't do it! (_aloud_) I'm only afraid, my very dear Mrs. Carver, that "light fantastic toe" of yours won't have much to do in our quiet little town of Stow-on-the-Wold! MRS. C. Stow-on-the-Wold? Faugh! I'm speaking of London! WOOD. (_with a start_) London? MRS. C. Yes! Where we shall be this very evening. Yes, Marmy, that's the little agreeable surprise we had in store for you, ha, ha, ha! WOOD. (_aside_) Now, Woodcock, prove yourself a man, Woodcock--assert your dignity, Woodcock--and let Carver see you're not going to stand any of Carver's nonsense, Woodcock! (_aloud and drawing himself up_) Mrs. Lieutenant Colonel Carver--(_thrusting his hand in his waistcoat, the paper parcel shews itself below it--WOODCOCK hastily thrusts it up again_) I repeat, Mrs. Lieutenant Colonel Carver---- MRS. C. I know what you are going to say, Marmy, but don't be alarmed! we've settled everything without you--in short, you'll have nothing whatever to do except to supply the money--there! WOOD. (_still more dignified_) Mrs. Lieutenant Colonel Carver--(_here the parcel again appears below his waistcoat--he thrusts it up so violently that it shews itself above it under his chin_) MRS. C. In the first place that kindest, best of creatures, Mrs. Larkings has already secured apartments for us close to their own residence in the Regent's Park, eight guineas and a half a week, the cheapest thing I ever heard of! WOOD. Mrs. Lieutenant Colonel Carver---- MRS. C. Especially as it includes everything except plate, linen, firing and attendance; but that's not all, Marmy, she vows she'll not accept a single invitation unless we are included! When I say we, I mean Caroline, Marmy and me! (_playfully and skipping about, R._) WOOD. (_aside--after a savage look at her_) There are circumstances under which a man ought to be allowed to strangle his mother-in-law! MRS. C. Ah! here comes Caroline, already equipped for travelling! _Enter MRS. WOODCOCK, R. 2 E., in travelling costume._ Come here, my darling--there! (_pointing to WOODCOCK, who is looking very sulky_) Look at him, isn't he the very picture of happiness? Doesn't his very eye twinkle with delight? MRS. W. Yes. And if I were not so happy myself, I should scold you well, sir, for keeping this charming, delightful visit to London a secret from me. (_playfully shaking her finger at WOODCOCK, who tries to get up a smile_) MRS. C. He knew nothing about it, my dear, he's quite as agreeably surprised as you are--ain't you, Marmy? WOOD. (_sulkily_) Yes; of course. MRS. W. Why, what a serious tone you say it in! WOOD. Do I? (_shouting_) I'm delighted! enchanted! There--is that better? MRS. W. (_C._) Yes, much better. (_suddenly_) I see how it is--this arrangement of mamma's may have interfered with some plan or your own--perhaps you intended taking us to Switzerland? WOOD. (_quickly_) No, no!