(_WOODCOCK, who overhears this, rolls all the things together in a lump and flings them back into the room with disgust_) MRS. L. But what makes you so late? MRS. C. Oh! it was entirely Marmy's fault. WOOD. (_sulkily_) Of course--of course it was Marmy's fault! MRS. W. You can't deny it, Mr. Woodcock. You must know--(_to MRS. LARKINGS_)--that I had bought this coronet expressly for your ball to-night, but when I wanted it to put it on, it had disappeared! (_MRS. LARKINGS looks aside at WOODCOCK--puts on a look of innocence_) MRS. C. Yes! We hunted for it everywhere. At last where do think it was found? In Marmy's writing desk! ha, ha, ha! WOOD. (_forcing a loud laugh_) Ha, ha, ha! MRS. C. Poor fellow! he remembered afterwards putting it there to prevent its being lost. WOOD. (_very quickly_) Yes! MRS. L. Indeed! (_looking at WOODCOCK_) Some people might imagine it was to prevent its being found! MRS. C. _and_ MRS. W. (_C._) Oh, no--no! WOOD. Oh, no--no! (_aside_) As I have observed two or three times already, what Larkings could ever have seen in that woman---- _Enter DAVID, at L., as a page._ DAVID. Please, sir, coachman says you didn't tell him what time he's to come with the carriage. MRS. W. (_R._) Now, remember, Mr. Woodcock, you promised me faithfully that we shouldn't be late--say half past two. WOOD. Very well! (_to DAVID_) A quarter past two, MRS. W. I said, half-past! (_smiling_) WOOD. (_shouting, L._) Half-past! _Exit DAVID, L._ MRS. C. Yes! We really must have a good night's rest, or we shall not be fit for the fancy dress ball to-morrow. (_to MRS. LARKINGS_) We've settled our costume, my dear! Caroline is going as Little Red Riding Hood, Marmy as a Neapolitan brigand--(_WOODCOCK makes a wry face_)--and I--_à la Pompadour_! WOOD. (_aside_) I don't exactly know what a _pumpadoor_ is, but I hope it's something decent! (_dance music again heard_) MRS. L. Come, ladies! by-the-bye, I mustn't forget your fans and gloves--this way! you'll find us in the ball room in less than five minutes, Mr. Woodcock, this way. _Exeunt MRS. LARKINGS, MRS. CARVER, and MRS. WOODCOCK at door, C. to L.--door closed._ WOOD. That attempt of mine upon Mrs. Woodcock's coronet was a contemptible failure. (_yawning_) I wonder if I shall ever have a good night's rest again! Never mind, I'll make up for it when I get back to Stow-on-the-Wold--if ever I do get back; I won't get up for a month! I believe Mrs. Woodcock would go back if it wasn't for Carver. I wish somebody would marry Carver! I'll give any man a thousand pounds if he'll marry--and after all, Carver's not absolutely repulsive--and I'm sure there's plenty of her for the money. _Enter SWANSDOWN in evening dress at C. from L._ SWANS. (_going to door R., and taking ticket out of his pocket_) Ticket No. 37. (_MAID appears, takes ticket, and disappears_) WOOD. Why, that's Swansdown! he's actually giving up his ticket!