WOOD. (_coming slowly down--after a short pause_) It's all over! there's not the slightest doubt about its being all over! the knot is tied, and I am fairly launched on the sea of matrimony! I felt uncommonly nervous at first, and then, to make matters worse, I thought I never should have got my white kid gloves off; and yet they were quite loose when I put them on. I can't imagine what made them shrink so, unless it was the state of nervous excitement they were in--I mean, I was in! 'Pon my life, after all, a wedding in a country town is a very jolly affair! In London, a couple walk into church and out again, and it makes no more sensation than if they went into a pastrycook's and bought a bun a piece! but in the country it creates a general excitement--the bride and bridegroom become objects of universal sympathy--I mean, curiosity--everybody wishes them joy, at least they say they do! In short, as I said before, it's a very jolly affair! I shouldn't mind being married two or three times a week for a considerable time to come. (_seeing DAVID_) Ah, David! DAVID. (_sighing, and very seriously_) So, you be really married, sir? WOOD. (_assuming a very hilarious manner_) Yes, David! quite married! You may look at me with the perfect conviction that you are contemplating the portrait of a gentleman thoroughly, totally, and completely married. (_DAVID turns away to hide his laughter_) You needn't turn your head away, David. I don't mind your laughing. I'm laughing myself, ha, ha, ha. (_forcing a very loud laugh--then after a short pause_) It does seem funny though, doesn't it, David? DAVID. (_L. C._) Yes, sir! it _is_ a rum go and no mistake! WOOD. I said nothing about a "rum go," David,--I limited myself to the expression "funny!" DAVID. Only to think of _your_ settling down into a respectable member of society! Dear, dear, when I think of your desperate, wild, _au_dacious capers---- WOOD. Hush, David! not so loud? my respected mother-in-law might hear you; and between you and me Mrs. Colonel Carver is rather a formidable sort of person! DAVID. Ees, sir! she _has_ a stiffish, frumpish look with her! WOOD. I said nothing about "stiffish and frumpish," David,--I limited myself to the expression "formidable." As you say, David, I have been a sad scapegrace--a desperate rascal--but when a man has been cutting capers and nothing but capers for twenty years, it's high time he cut them altogether--in plain English, I felt I had had my _whack_, and that's why I've just married Miss Caroline Anastasia Sophia Elizabeth Carver! DAVID. Well, sir, they do say a reformed rake makes the best husband, and you certainly had a regular good "innings" at it. WOOD. I said nothing about "innings," David,--I limited myself to the expression _"whack!_" Has anything been sent from the railway station? DAVID. Yes--sir, three parcels--here they be, sir! (_three brown paper parcels are on the table_)