Bildungsromans; Feminist fiction; Women -- Employment -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
It was a grand step, and knowing that she owed it to Kent, Christie did
her utmost to show that she deserved his good opinion. New trials and
temptations beset her now, but hard work and an innocent nature kept
her safe and busy. Obstacles only spurred her on to redoubled exertion,
and whether she did well or ill, was praised or blamed, she found a
never-failing excitement in her attempts to reach the standard of
perfection she had set up for herself. Kent did not regret his
patronage. Mr. Sharp was satisfied with the success of the experiment,
and Christie soon became a favorite in a small way, because behind the
actress the public always saw a woman who never “forgot the modesty of
nature.”
But as she grew prosperous in outward things, Christie found herself
burdened with a private cross that tried her very much. Lucy was no
longer her friend; something had come between them, and a steadily
increasing coldness took the place of the confidence and affection
which had once existed. Lucy was jealous for Christie had passed her in
the race. She knew she could not fill the place Christie had gained by
favor, and now held by her own exertions, still she was bitterly
envious, though ashamed to own it.
Christie tried to be just and gentle, to prove her gratitude to her
first friend, and to show that her heart was unchanged. But she failed
to win Lucy back and felt herself injured by such unjust resentment.
Mrs. Black took her daughter’s part, and though they preserved the
peace outwardly the old friendliness was quite gone.
Hoping to forget this trouble in excitement Christie gave herself
entirely to her profession, finding in it a satisfaction which for a
time consoled her.
But gradually she underwent the sorrowful change which comes to strong
natures when they wrong themselves through ignorance or wilfulness.
Pride and native integrity kept her from the worst temptations of such
a life, but to the lesser ones she yielded, growing selfish, frivolous,
and vain,—intent on her own advancement, and careless by what means she
reached it. She had no thought now beyond her art, no desire beyond the
commendation of those whose opinion was serviceable, no care for any
one but herself.
Her love of admiration grew by what it fed on, till the sound of
applause became the sweetest music to her ear. She rose with this hope,
lay down with this satisfaction, and month after month passed in this
feverish life, with no wish to change it, but a growing appetite for
its unsatisfactory delights, an ever-increasing forgetfulness of any
higher aspiration than dramatic fame.
“Give me joy, Lucy, I’m to have a benefit next week! Everybody else has
had one, and I’ve played for them all, so no one seemed to begrudge me
my turn when dear old Kent proposed it,” said Christie, coming in one
night still flushed and excited with the good news.
“What shall you have?” asked Lucy, trying to look pleased, and failing
decidedly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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