It certainly is astonishing that we, the most patriotic of nations, with
such high opinion of ourselves and our institutions, should be so ready
to hand over our daughters and our ducats to the first foreigner who asks
for them, often requiring less information about him than we should
consider necessary before buying a horse or a dog.
Women of no other nation have this mania for espousing aliens. Nowhere
else would a girl with a large fortune dream of marrying out of her
country. Her highest ideal of a husband would be a man of her own kin.
It is the rarest thing in the world to find a well-born French, Spanish,
or Italian woman married to a foreigner and living away from her country.
How can a woman expect to be happy separated from all the ties and
traditions of her youth? If she is taken abroad young, she may still
hope to replace her friends as is often done. But the real reason of
unhappiness (greater and deeper than this) lies in the fundamental
difference of the whole social structure between our country and that of
her adoption, and the radically different way of looking at every side of
life.
Surely a girl must feel that a man who allows a marriage to be arranged
for him (and only signs the contact because its pecuniary clauses are to
his satisfaction, and who would withdraw in a moment if these were
suppressed), must have an entirely different point of view from her own
on all the vital issues of life.
Foreigners undoubtedly make excellent husbands for their own women. But
they are, except in rare cases, unsatisfactory helpmeets for American
girls. It is impossible to touch on more than a side or two of this
subject. But as an illustration the following contrasted stories may be
cited:
Two sisters of an aristocratic American family, each with an income of
over forty thousand dollars a year, recently married French noblemen.
They naturally expected to continue abroad the life they had led at home,
in which opera boxes, saddle horses, and constant entertaining were
matters of course. In both cases, our compatriots discovered that their
husbands (neither of them penniless) had entirely different views. In
the first place, they were told that it was considered "bad form" in
France for young married women to entertain; besides, the money was
needed for improvements, and in many other ways, and as every well-to-do
French family puts aside at least a third of its income as _dots_ for the
children (boys as well as girls), these brides found themselves cramped
for money for the first time in their lives, and obliged, during their
one month a year in Paris, to put up with hired traps, and depend on
their friends for evenings at the opera.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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