Howells, William Dean, 1837-1920 -- Childhood and youth
tribute after so many years from a gratitude which cannot be spoken.
After so many years I cannot make out whether she accepted or merely
suffered my extreme opinions in politics; though she was wholly Ohioan,
her husband's family had close affiliations with the South; but hers was
certainly a Republican house, as nearly all the houses I frequented
were. What may have made her even anticipatively my friend was our
common acceptance of the Swedenborgian philosophy, which long, long
afterward, the last time I saw her, I spoke of as a philosophy. But then
she rejected the notion with scorn; it might be a pleasant fancy, she
said, but a philosophy, no; and I perceived that she had come the way of
that agnosticism which the whole cultivated world had taken. Now I have
heard that in her last years she went back to the faith which was
perhaps more inherited than reasoned in both of us. But I am sure that
it was at first a bond and that she was conscientiously true to this
bond of a common spiritual tradition, when upon some public recognition
of my work she reminded me how according to Swedenborg every beautiful
thing we said or did was by an influx from the divine. I submitted
outwardly, but inwardly I rebelled: not that my conceit of the things I
did was so very great; I believe I thought rather modestly of myself for
doing them, and I always meant to do much better things; in fact I still
have my masterpiece before me; but, poor things as they were, I wished
to feel them wholly mine.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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