You no longer count (Tu n'es plus rien!)Boylesve, René
General
You no longer count (Tu n'es plus rien!)
Boylesve, René
World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
On her return she said that she could hardly recognize the entrance of
the Grand Hotel, whither she had gone a few months before to carry notes
from Monsieur or Madame to M. X or M. Y who were dead now, like
Monsieur.
She brought back much information. The wounded who came that morning
were from the Department of the North, where a frightful battle had been
raging for weeks. "Some of them talk, madame; some of them say nothing;
their eyes break your heart, like poor, sick dogs that glance at you as
if ashamed and pretend to be asleep." "I could see from where I was,"
she went on after a little, "the surgeon as he appeared to be, all in
white, with a cap like a cook and bare arms; he received them at the
door and sorted them out, sending them up-stairs, down-stairs, to the
right, the left, pestered by the nurses, who begged for them."
But Odette had not seen them entering the hospital, and this did not
interest her. She was pursuing her own thoughts.
"There was one in the procession," she said, "one that was lying down,
who was so pale, poor boy! He will not go far."
She had vowed to herself that she would not go out; she would remain
with her grief the whole day, the whole week. But immediately after
luncheon she put on her hat and went to wander around the hospital.
A hedge separated the street from the great court in which there was
still a circular clump of trees surrounded with withered summer flowers;
opposite, above another hedge, the vines in a charming flower-garden
were reddening on the pergolas. Everything bore the impress of a time of
display and enjoyment, and she felt that decorations like these were
henceforth antiquated, absurd.
Odette knew already, through Amelia, the disposition of each part of the
hospital, whose interior hum she could hear from without. She knew that
one flight up, at the first turn, were the typhoids, nursed by a Sister
who for twelve years past, wherever she might be sent, had done nothing
else than care for typhoids, and go to the nearest church to put up a
little prayer. She knew the situation of the staircase leading to the
basements, where the food was brought in and the dead carried out. She
knew that at a corner of the building looking upon the sea was the
operating-theatre, visible from without. And in fact, passing by it, she
perceived a group of white-robed men and women, their sleeves turned
back, leaning over something or some one. Then she fled toward the sea
like a coward and was ashamed. In reality, this assemblage of suffering
creatures at once repelled and attracted her, producing a complex
sentiment, unfamiliar and incongruous.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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