You no longer count (Tu n'es plus rien!)Boylesve, René
General
You no longer count (Tu n'es plus rien!)
Boylesve, René
World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
Whence came these wounded men? From Ypres, from Arras, from Notre-Dame
de Lorette. The names called up all that any one knew, through
newspapers and private talk, of those charnel-houses whose image the
imagination refuses to harbor, upon which those who have escaped from
them keep silence.
Odette, soapy brush in hand, forcing back all repugnance, doing as
others did, was helping to soothe agonies which humanity seems never
before to have known or dreamed of. The most shocking duties no longer
repelled her. The very effort which she was compelled to make, by the
contrast between what she was seeing and doing and what life had
formerly offered her, pressed the character of the catastrophe to her
mind which lacked capacity to conceive of it. "Is it, then, so great?"
she would wonder. And even: "Is there after all anything great?" For no
soul in the world had taught her this. The inevitable contrast with her
past life, all for herself, for her individual satisfaction, seemed to
dishonor her memories, even of happiness, making them almost trivial.
This, indeed, was the opinion of Mme. de Calouas, but not that of
Amelia, whom in her solitude it became sometimes necessary to oppose.
"Madame adopts the ideas of those around her," the maid would say; "it
is all very well, but Madame may believe me: the good time, and the true
time, was before all this, when the poor men were not preparing to be
made into hash."
IX
Who would have believed it a year ago? Odette took the inclination to
follow to the cemetery the pitiful funerals of dead soldiers, not
because it offered her a pretext for a walk into the country in the free
air, for she had done that--she, so susceptible to cold--all through the
black winter. But before everything else she was thinking that she had
not followed her husband to the grave. After all that she had endured,
still reverent of century-old rites, not to have followed the body of
her husband in a funeral car to his last abode seemed to her to have
failed in a sovereign duty. Alas! her husband's body had been carried in
no funeral car, no one had followed him to the grave! She did not permit
herself to dwell upon these heartrending details, but in accompanying
the mortal remains of the soldiers she felt that she was to a certain
degree acquitting herself of an indispensable duty that had not been
rendered to Jean. Then the ceremony at the church moved her. The panoply
of war mingling with hymns and words of peace, the tumult of battle set
over against the sacerdotal acts of the priest, and the prayers for the
eternal rest of the soul that had known to the uttermost the horror of
earthly chaos, combined in some way to deaden the pain of mind, senses,
and heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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