arm to which she hung, tightly embracing it with her own. Miss Brown was
flitting about this strange little group, talking continuously, though
the only one among them who was disposed to talk could not understand
her, and the children were too worn out to pay any attention to what she
said.
There was a little start and thrill among the three who held so closely
together when the lady returned. Little Lilias put down her biscuit. She
became the head of the party as soon as Miss Musgrave came back--the
plenipotentiary with whom to conduct all negotiations. Nello, on the
other hand, buried his head in his nurse’s shoulder. In the midst of all
her agitation and confusion it troubled Miss Musgrave that the child
should hide his face from her. The boy who was like herself and her
family was the one to whom her interest turned most. Lilias bore another
resemblance, which was no passport to Mary Musgrave’s heart. Yet it was
hard to resist the fascination of this child’s sense and courage; the
boy, as yet, had shown himself capable of nothing but fear.
“Go, and have fires lighted at once in the two west rooms--make
everything ready,” Mary said, sending Miss Brown away peremptorily. It
was not a worthy feeling perhaps, but it vexed her, agitated as she was,
to see that her maid woke no alarm in the children, while she, their
nearest relation, she who, if necessary, had made up her mind to
sacrifice everything for them, was an object of fear. She thought even
that the children clung closer to their nurse and shrank more from
herself when Martha was sent away. Miss Musgrave stood at the other side
of the table and looked at them with many conflicting thoughts. It was
altogether new to her, this strange mixture of ignorance and wonder, and
almost awe, with which she felt herself contemplating these unknown
little creatures, henceforward to be wholly dependent upon her. They
were afraid of her, but she was scarcely less afraid of them, wondering
with an ache in her heart whether she would be able to feel towards them
as she ought, to bring her middle-aged thoughts into sympathy with
theirs, to be soft and gentle with them as their helplessness demanded.
Love does not always come with the first claim upon it; how was she to
love them, little unknown beings whose very existence she had never
heard of before? And Mary thought of herself with a certain pity in this
strange moment, remembering almost with a sense of injury that the
fountain of mother’s love had never been awakened in her at all. Was it
thus to be awakened? She was not an angelic woman, as poor Mr. Pen
imagined her to be. She knew this well enough, though he did not know
it. She had been young and full of herself when the family misfortunes
happened, and since then what had there been in her life to warm or
awaken the heart? Was she capable of loving? she asked herself; was
there not a chill atmosphere about her which breathed cold upon the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account