Your Child: Today and Tomorrow: Some Problems for Parents Concerning Punishment, Reasoning, Lies, Ideals and Ambitions, Fear, Work and Play, Imagination, Social Activities, Obedience, Adolescence, Will, Heredity — John Shaqi
Your Child: Today and Tomorrow: Some Problems for Parents Concerning Punishment, Reasoning, Lies, Ideals and Ambitions, Fear, Work and Play, Imagination, Social Activities, Obedience, Adolescence, Will, HeredityGruenberg, Sidonie Matsner
Science
Your Child: Today and Tomorrow: Some Problems for Parents Concerning Punishment, Reasoning, Lies, Ideals and Ambitions, Fear, Work and Play, Imagination, Social Activities, Obedience, Adolescence, Will, Heredity
Gruenberg, Sidonie Matsner
Children
Whatever the prevailing morality of a community may demand, the fact
remains that practically all children up to a certain age consider
it perfectly legitimate to lie to their enemies if they but tell the
truth to their friends. Children may lie to the policeman, or to the
teacher, or to anyone with whom they are for the moment in conflict.
This is a relic of the time when our savage ancestors found it
necessary to practice deceit in order to save themselves from their
enemies. So ingrained is this instinct that many a child will stick
to a falsehood before the teacher or other inquisitors, only to
retract and "go to pieces" when obliged to answer his mother. It has
been shown over and over again that children even well along in the
teens consider it quite right to tell one story to a teacher or to
another child who is disliked, and a different story to one that is
liked. This attitude probably arises not so much from a desire to
deceive as an outcome of natural cunning and adaptability.
This is illustrated by the little girl who used to throw the crust
of her bread under the table, to get more soft bread. The child was
too young to deceive anyone; she could not possibly have the idea of
deceit or of lying. She had simply come to dispose of the crust in
this way because she had associated the arrival of more bread with
her empty-handedness; to throw the bread under the table was a
direct way to the getting of what she wanted. The question of truth
or untruth never entered the little mind. To treat this child as a
liar would not only be unjust, but would be apt to make the child
conscious of the idea of deceit. Later in his development the child
may still use the same kind of cunning in getting what he wants or
in escaping what he does not like, without the intention to deceive.
And a lie, to be a lie, must include that intention.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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