“This,” he answered. “The close and pernicious enthralment of a woman
I never met till the night before last; a woman whose face haunts me;
a woman who drags me to her side with the force of a magnet, there to
grovel like a brain-sick fool and plead with her for a love which I
already know is poison to my soul! Helen, Helen! You do not
understand--you will never understand! Here, in the very air I
breathe, I fancy I can trace the perfume she shakes from her garments
as she moves; something indescribably fascinating yet terrible
attracts me to her; it is an evil attraction, I know, but I cannot
resist it. There is something wicked in every man’s nature; I am
conscious enough that there is something detestably wicked in mine,
and I have not sufficient goodness to overbalance it. And this
woman,--this silent, gliding, glittering-eyed creature that has
suddenly taken possession of my fancy--she overcomes me in spite of
myself; she makes havoc of all the good intentions of my life. I admit
it--I confess it!”
“You are speaking of the Princess Ziska?” asked Helen, tremblingly.
“Of whom else should I speak?” he responded, dreamily. “There is no
one like her; probably there never was anyone like her, except,
perhaps, Ziska-Charmazel!”
As the name passed his lips, he sprang hastily up and stood amazed, as
though some sudden voice had called him. Helen Murray looked at him in
alarm.
“Oh, what is it?” she exclaimed.
He forced a laugh.
“Nothing--nothing--but a madness! I suppose it is all a part of my
strange malady. Your brother is stricken with the same fever. Surely
you know that?”
“Indeed I do know it,” Helen answered, “to my sorrow!”
He regarded her intently. Her face in its pure outline and quiet
sadness of expression touched him more than he cared to own even to
himself.
“My dear Helen,” he said, with an effort at composure, “I have been
talking wildly; you must forgive me! Don’t think about me at all; I am
not worth it! Denzil has taken it into his head to quarrel with me on
account of the Princess Ziska, but I assure you I will not quarrel
with him. He is infatuated, and so am I. The best thing for all of us
to do would be to leave Egypt instantly; I feel that instinctively,
only we cannot do it. Something holds us here. You will never persuade
Denzil to go, and I--I cannot persuade myself to go. There is a
clinging sweetness in the air for me; and there are vague suggestions,
memories, dreams, histories--wonderful things which hold me
spell-bound! I wish I could analyze them, recognize them, or
understand them. But I cannot, and there, perhaps, is their secret
charm. Only one thing grieves me, and that is, that I have, perhaps,
unwittingly, in some thoughtless way, given you pain; is it so,
Helen?”
She rose quickly, and with a quiet dignity held out her hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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