1854--17th August.--Rose at a quarter before nine--garden after breakfast, shower-bath before. To work by eleven till one at the view of _Windermere_.... This evening I intended drawing, but instead reflected on alterations to be made in the picture of _Christ and Peter_, which I think of sending to Paris[81] with the _Chaucer_, if the English Committee accept it (six hours). The Christ in its present state I consider to be a failure--too much melo-dramatic sentiment, not sufficient dignity and simplicity of pose. What to do with it, however, I scarce know. To suit the public taste, however, it should be clothed;[82] to suit my own, not; but then the action suits me not to alter, which would be more trouble than to clothe the figure. Aureoles they must all have. The St. John is all right. The Peter would be perfect if the carnation were redder and deeper in tint, and the cloak a better green; also a bit of the right arm should be shown; but how? Judas requires a fresh head of hair, his present one having been dabbed in from _feeling_ in the last hurry of sending in. Memo.: his garment to be a paler yellow. Four of the other apostles require more _religious feeling_, which must be done--William and Gabriel Rossetti in particular require veneration to be added to them. The table-cloth will require alteration, and the tiles of the floor. Health and spirits tolerable to-day, nerves quiet. 18th.--Worked from nine till half-past ten at the charcoal sketch of _Beauty before she became acquainted with the Beast_. Read _Antony and Cleopatra_ in bed this morning; found it more interesting than ever, was deeply affected and strengthened; such is the effect of all history-reading. The moral the play seems to imply, if any, is that there is in shame and degradation a pitch than which self-inflicted death is more to be tolerated. Pity when any one with modern notions of the criminality of such act is driven to it. With poor Haydon it was the only atonement he could make to humanity degraded in his personal conduct. How can degraded things be still interesting? 20th.--Yesterday one of degrading idleness. Out for a longish walk with Emma; came home tired, dejected, and nervous. Tried to work at drawing of _Beauty_ for about one hour; contemptible state (three hours). This morning have written notice of sending _Chaucer_, _King Lear_, and _Christ_, to Paris (will the Committee permit!?!?).... 22nd.--Yesterday I worked at the little picture till six or half-past; re-painted the child’s hands from the studies, and the head from feeling; till I became thoroughly disgusted with the work, as I have with the _Windermere_. Both are now put by till the inspiration come on again. When nothing hurries, this is the best plan....