The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities — David Hume — John Shaqi
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
"John Weer, in his Book de Prestigus, has drawn up an inventory of
the diabolical monarchy, with the names and surnames of seventy-two
princes, and the seven million four hundred and five thousand nine
hundred and twenty-six devils, errors of computation only excepted,
adding what qualities and properties, and to what purposes they may
serve when invoked."—_Bodin_, p. 404.
"Thrasillus, a Heathen author, cited by Stobœus, says, that at the
Nile was a stone like a bear, which cured those who were afflicted
with dæmons for as soon as ever it was applied to the noses of
dæmoniacks, the devil immediately left them."—_Bodin_, p. 301.
"The way to be certainly loved, is, to take the marrow of a wolf's
left foot, and make of it a sort of pomatum, with ambergris and
cyprus powder, carry it about one, and cause the person to smell of
it from time to time."—_Albertus_, p. 12.
"To prevent differences and a divorce betwixt a man and his wife,
take two quails' hearts, the one of a male, the other of a female,
and cause the man to carry about him the male, and the woman the
female."—_Thiers_, tome 1, p. 389.
"Place a Toad's heart on a woman's left breast when she sleeps, to
make her tell her secrets."—_Thiers_, tome 1, p. 389.
_From_ "MARKHAM'S HORSEMANSHIP."
_How to doe with a Jaded Horse._—When that your horse is thoroughly
tired, and hath yet much of his journey to do, alight from him, and
cut, from the nighest hedge, a short wande, which you shall jag in
notches with your knife, and, making a hole in the thinnest of his
ear, when he dothe flag in his pace, then saw the stick to and froe
in the hole, which will revive him soe that, until he be entirely
spent, he will not faile to goe.
_Another way, with the horse of_ a friend, _or that is hired, and
soe that the proper owner shall not know thereof_.—When that your
beast is muche wearied, and hath yet far to travel, get down from
his back, and choose from the road side six smooth round pebbles, of
which you shall put three in his right ear, and tye up the ear with
binde-weed, or long grass, purse-wise; then mount him again and put
him on his mettle, and with the motion of his head the stones in his
ear will rattle seemingly to him like thunder, which will soe
inspirit him that while he hath life in him he will not fail to goe;
and when he doth, after that, slacken of his pace, then tye up three
in his left ear also.
_From_ "ONE THOUSAND NOTABLE THINGS."
_To Staunch the Bleeding of a Wound._—Write these four letters, A O
G L, with the blood of the wound, about the wound.