The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities — David Hume — John Shaqi
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
_A Medicine for the Toothache._—Take a live Mowle, and put him in a
brass pot, and there let him die, then cut him asunder and take out
the guts, and dry the blood with a cloth, then cut him in quarters,
and hang him on a thred drying by the fire's side; when ye would use
it, lay the fleshy side of it, with bladders of saffron, with a
cloth to your sore.
Pare the nails of one that hath the Quartan Ague, which, being put
into a linen cloth, and so tied about the neck of a quick eel, and
the same eel put into the water, thereby the ague will be driven
away.
It is certainly and constantly affirmed, that on Midsummer eve there
is found under the root of mugwort a coal which preserves and keeps
safe from the plague, carbuncle, lightning, the quartan ague, and
from burning, them that bear the same about them: and Mizaldus, the
writer hereof, saith that he doth hear that it is to be found the
same day under the root of plantane; which I know to be of truth,
for I have found them the same day under the root of plantane. It is
to be found at noon.
You shall stay the bleeding of the nose, if you write with the same
blood, in the forehead of the party that bleeds, these words
following, _Consummatum est_.
If one do buy Warts of them that have them, and give them a pin
therefor, if the party that hath the warts prick the same pin in
some garment that he wears daily and commonly, the wart or warts,
without doubt, will diminish and wear away privily, and be clear
gone in a short time.
If you take an oak apple from an oak tree, and in the same you shall
find a little worm, which if it doth fly away, it signifies wars; if
it creeps, it betokens scarcity of corn; if it run about, then it
foreshews the plague.
Whosoever eateth two walnuts, two figs, twenty leaves of rue, and
one grain of salt, all stamped and mixed together, fasting, shall be
safe from poison or plague that day; which antidote King Mithridates
had used so much, that when he drank poison purposely to kill
himself, it could not hurt him.
_From_ "THE ACCOMPLISHED GENTLEWOMAN'S COMPANION."
_To Cure the Toothache._—If a needle is run through a wood-louse,
and immediately touch the aching tooth with that needle, it will
cease to ache.
_To Cure the Jaundice._—Take a live Tench, slit it down the belly;
take out the guts, and clap the Tench to the stomach as fast as
possible, and it will cure immediately.
_From_ "NATURA EXENTERATA, OR NATURE UNBOWELLED."