The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities — David Hume — John Shaqi
The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
POETICAL CALENDAR,
AND
CHRONOLOGY FOR THE YEAR 1843.
JANUARY.
This month its name distinctly traces
Unto the god that has two faces:
From which we fairly may assume
It should be sacred now to Brough'm.
5th. Further decline in the revenue; the decline being caused by a want
of consumption.
26th. A million tons of chalk dislodged by gunpowder from the cliffs at
Dover. The price of milk, nevertheless, remained as usual.
FEBRUARY.
From _Februa_ (meaning "pure") this month doth claim
To take its very classic Roman name.
Parliament's meeting in this month, I'm sure,
Is a mistake—What's that to do with "pure?"
15th. Intelligence received from Captain Ross, who had been to join a
very select circle at the Antarctic.
21st. The trustees of a life-boat at North Shields fined ten shillings
for bringing some clothes to shore; it being decided that such boats are
not to be used to bring clothes to any one in possession of life, but
only to prevent any one's life from being brought to a close.
24th. Great curling match at Eglinton Castle, which Lord Eglinton won by
nine shots. The curling was not tried upon hare.
MARCH.
This month, called MARCH, from Mars, is full of bluster,
For Boreas doth his windy forces muster.
Mars and old Boreas give mutual shocks;
One sending equal blows, the other EQUI-KNOCKS.
1st. Dr. Candlish lectured at London Wall amidst great confusion. The
congregation not being in a candle-ish humour, refused to be
enlightened.
7th. Lord Teynham moved in the Lords for the abrogation of the clause in
the Poor Law Bill separating man and wife. The motion was lost, several
of the peers declaring the clause to be very beneficial to both parties.
25th. The Thames Tunnel opened, and the public let in; the privilege
being no longer confined to the shareholders.
APRIL.
Whether this month to Flora or to Ceres
The Romans gave, admits of many queries.
_Aperio_ is "to open:" this suggestion
Proves 'twas intended for an open question:
1st. Public curiosity excited by the announcement of the invention of an
Aerial Ship. It was predicted that the ship would fall to the ground;
but it never rose high enough to allow of the prediction being verified.
12th. The Servian question settled by the Russian cabinet stipulating
for a new sovereign. The old sovereign had not sufficient weight, being,
probably, one of the light sovereigns that a proclamation had been
previously directed against.
25th. The prizes of the Art-Union drawn at Drury Lane Theatre; and Her
Majesty presented the nation on the same day with a prize—in the shape
of another princess.