The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities — David Hume — John Shaqi
The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
MAY.
MAY formerly was sacred to Apollo:
The ancients little thought of what would follow,—
That MAY—descending to the lowest deeps—
Should e'er by fate become the fête of sweeps!
1st. A molar tooth extracted from a person during mesmeric sleep. He
retained his unconsciousness in spite of his teeth.
16th. The Greenwich peerage became extinct by the giving way of the
stone structure. The slates on the roof remained firm to the last, and
behaved like bricks.
25th. Sir Valentine Blake moved for leave to bring in a Bill to restore
the Irish Parliament. The motion not being seconded, he took leave of
his own accord, and withdrew.
JUNE.
Juno and JUNE so nearly are the same, One from the other must have got
its name. The sign is Cancer, "crab:" and all admit That Juno's crabbed
temper it would fit.
19th. The judges replied to the questions of the House of Lords on
monomania, to the effect that partial insanity does not affect legal
responsibility; which settled the question whether Lord Brougham could
be considered legally responsible to the Birds, supposing they had
brought an action against him.
30th. The Bill for the "Mutual Surrender of Criminals" read a second
time in the House of Lords, but no allusion was made to the question,
whether the English dramatists would be liable to be given up—as arrant
thieves—to the French authorities.
JULY.
This month _Quintilis_, or "the fifth," was reckoned,
Till Julius Cæsar gave a first and second:
From which arrangement it at once appears
That Julius Cæsar has prolonged our years.
15th. Father Mathew arrived at Liverpool, and the tide rose unusually
high, the water obtaining an extraordinary state of elevation.
23rd. O'Connell holds a repeal meeting at Tuam, and his exhortations on
the subject of rent prove that he understands the interest of meum as
well as that of _tuum_.
AUGUST.
Augustus Cæsar, seized by love of fame,
Gave to this seasonable month his name.
To Ceres it was dedicated: ergo,
Its sign zodiacal, of course, was Virgo.
28th. The Queen and Prince Albert embark on a marine excursion, and the
sea puts on the smoothest face possible.
31st. The Agricultural Improvement Society meet at Belfast. Several
members exhibited much ground for improvement.
SEPTEMBER.
From _septem_ "seven," and from _himber_, "shower."
Because SEPTEMBER pours with all its power,
The month derives its title, it is plain,
From the small fact that rain began its reign.
2nd. The Queen arrives at Tréport, and the King of Hanover leaves
England. These auspicious events are hailed with much rejoicing.