But lately he had been thinking anxiously over his daughter Clytie.
She had suddenly developed out of a naughty, rebellious child into a
problem. He assumed as a matter of course that he bore her the ordinary
well-regulated parental affection, but in his heart of hearts he never
really loved her. Until lately it had not occurred to him to think
of her as anything but a child of his with a singularly unfortunate
disposition which time would modify. But time, on the contrary, was
accentuating it, and he realised at last that Clytie had a distinct
individuality. His philosophy had left many things in heaven and earth
undreamed of. He was mystified, puzzled. How could he and his delicate
wife have brought this bright-haired, full-blooded, impulsive creature
into existence? Her sisters were gentle, quiet women, possessing the
virtues inculcated in his conception of life. Clytie seemed to possess
none of them. The peasant woman in the legend could not have wondered
more over her changeling. How could a daughter of his and a sister
of Janet's scoff at sacred things, defy social rules, and have an
imagination that ran riot in scenes of drunkenness and outcast life?
Physiology might grant a solution to the old man's problem in the law
of the alternation of heredity. His father's youngest brother had been a
family black sheep, and being the only one of the generation who had led
an eventful career, was naturally never mentioned by his relations, and
the record of his life perished with him. But it is possible that the
positive enthusiastic principle of Clytie's Puritan descent, reasserting
itself once in every other generation, to the horror of the negative
principle that otherwise ran through the race continuously, came out in
her with all its strength and vigour. It brought her eager, panting up
to the brink of our surging nineteenth century life, imperiously bidding
her plunge in and take her part in the tumult.
She was now nineteen, an age when girls try to realise themselves.
She discovered that she was a greater problem to herself than to her
sisters. They simply looked upon her as odd, eccentric, unpleasant
to live with, and if she had not been their sister would have almost
gathered up their skirts around them as they passed her by. But she was
conscious of a craving within her that did not proceed from mere wilful
caprice. In her earlier girlhood she had thought long and humbly over
her shortcomings. Why could she not be as contented and dutiful as
Janet? Why could not the interests that satisfied her sisters' life
satisfy hers? Often and often an impulse of scorn and ridicule at the
littleness of Durdleham would overmaster her, and then would follow a
passionate fit of remorse and repentance, received with coldness
and ruffled dignity on her sisters' part, that would send her back
humiliated and rebellious to her room. From what springs of desire did
all this proceed? Whither were these impulses tending?