Sarah brought in the breakfast and retired. They sat down to table.
Somehow or other the meal proceeded. Two things had come by post for
Joyce, one a belated but laudatory notice of “The Wasters,” the other
a cheque from the office of a weekly paper. He passed them both to her,
according to custom.
“You mustn’t bother about me at all, Yvonne. I am in a different way of
business altogether from what I was when we first started housekeeping.
The new book will do ever so much better than ‘The Wasters.’ I shall
miss you terribly--at first--but it will all dry straight, Yvonne. I
dare say I shall go on living here. Runcle and I are immense pals, you
know--perhaps I may go into partnership with him and bring some modern
go-ahead ideas into the concern--become a Quaritch or Sotheran--who
knows? Yes, I should n’t like to leave these quaint, dear old rooms,”
he said, looking round, anywhere but in Yvonne’s face, with an air of
cheerfulness that he felt in his heart must be ghastly. “Something of
you and your dear companionship will linger about them. I shall pretend,
like the ‘Marchioness,’ that you are with me.”
He passed his tea-cup, and, meeting her eyes, tried to smile. The comers
of her lips responded bravely.
“And at last you will come into indisputed possession of your
furniture,” she said.
He had not the heart to protest. So they continued to talk in this light
strain of the coming parting, until Joyce, looking at his watch, found
it was time to go down to the shop. At the door, on his way out, he
paused to relight his pipe. Then, without trusting himself to look
round, he left her. But if he had turned he would have seen her grow
suddenly very white, clutch the mantel-piece for support with one hand
while the other pressed her bosom hard, and sway for a second or two
with shut eyes.
Downstairs he resumed his unfinished task of the evening before. He
worked at it doggedly, trying not to think. But it was as futile as
trying to hold one’s breath beyond a certain period.
“Yvonne is going--to marry Everard--going for ever--I shall be
alone--she will lie in his arms--I shall go mad--God help me--if it
is more than I can bear, there is a way out--I can keep up till she
goes--she shall not know--afterwards.” His brain could not work beyond.
The same thoughts throbbed with almost rhythmic recurrence as he priced
and catalogued the books. Once he opened a tattered “Marcus Aurelius”:--
“If pain is an affliction, it must affect either the body or the mind;
if the body is hurt, let it say so; as for the soul, it is in her power
to preserve her serenity and calm, by supposing the accident no evil.”
He laughed to himself mirthlessly, and threw the book on the fourpenny
heap. “Or pretending, like the Marchioness,” he said. He was scarcely in
a mood for “Marcus Aurelius.”