“It’s a dress--the one I wear in the third act. Well, you can carry it.
My head’s splitting. And I’m ready to drop.”
They had reached the end of the Parade. Their way lay at right
angles through the town. It was a gusty, though warm night, and the
cloud-racked sky and sea were dimly visible.
“Would you like to sit down for a few minutes?” he asked.
“Would you like it?”
Her white face was turned up earnestly toward his.
“It might do you good,” he replied.
“No,” she said abruptly, after a pause, “Let us get home.”
They walked together in silence. Joyce’s thoughts were far away. He
parted from her at the door of her lodgings and went on slowly to his
own.
He had accustomed himself quickly to the nomad life on tour, its
mechanical regularity despite the weekly change of scene. Once, perhaps,
a round like this among the large provincial towns would have been
filled with interests. But now it was empty. He tried in vain to whet
his dull curiosity, by strolling through the streets and seeking to busy
his mind with the industrial or municipal aspects, the art treasures,
the historical monuments of the various towns. But all intellectual
keenness seemed to have been blunted during those deadening years. His
lonely walks were at best but an aimless killing of time. All the towns
presented to him the same essential features: one busy thoroughfare, the
theatre with its flaring bills, and a poverty-stricken side-street where
his bedroom was situated. His life was singularly monotonous. The long
hours of the day, given up to lounging in solitude, or reading
what cheap literature his means would allow, were succeeded by the
uninspiring, almost impersonal work at the theatre. All that was
required of him was to sing his parts correctly, and to execute
automatically the “business” in which he had been drilled. It was
painfully easy. But he doubted within himself whether he had any
dramatic aptitude. He could never divest himself of the self-conscious
idea that he looked a fool in theatrical garb. The green robe and
pigtail gave him the sense of being a spectacle for gods and men. His
spirit was too crushed to look upon life humorously. Still, the great
anxiety was lifted from his mind. It was a livelihood, secured for an
indefinite time. The tour was booked a year ahead, and, as the outset
proved “The Diamond Door” to be as great a provincial success as it had
been a London one, there seemed no reason against a continuous run for
three or four years. In the meantime, he might advance a step or two.
But he did not care to contemplate the future. He was thankful for the
dull, unruffled present. He was working again among honest men, reckoned
as one himself. Could he dare hope for more?