John Risca went back to Fenton Square and breathed the ghosts of the
night-before-last's sprats, and he journeyed to the Orphanage of Saint
Martha at Willesden and breathed the prison taint of that abode of
hopelessness, and he wrote hard at night in a tiny room breathing
the hot, electric atmosphere of a newspaper-office; and ever horribly
dominant in his mind was the woman whom once he had held in his arms,
who now performed degrading tasks in shameful outward investiture, and
inwardly lashed at him with malignant hatred through the distorted prism
of her soul, and he breathed the clammy dungeon atmosphere of his own
despair; and sitting at his writing-table one night, after having spent
the day in court listening to the loathsome details of a sickening
murder, a _crime passionnel_, with the shock of which the wide world was
ringing,--his American syndicate insisted on a vivid story, and he had
to earn the journalist's daily bread,--the ignorant, fanciful words of
Stellamaris flashed through his mind--“I think we breathe God.” He threw
back his head and laughed aloud, and then let it drop upon his arms,
folded over his wet page of copy, and sobbed in a man's dry-eyed agony
of spirit.
And as the prophet Elijah, when sore beset, found the Lord neither in
the wind nor in the earthquake nor in the fire, so did John Risca find
Him not in all these daily things through which he had passed. Life
was fierce, inhuman, a devastating medley of blind forces, making human
effort a vain thing, human aspiration a derision, faith in mankind a
grotesque savage Ju-ju superstition. There was no God, no beneficent
influence making order out of chaos; for it was all chaos. Jezebel and
her lusts and cruelties ruled the world--this cloaca of a world. Man
argues ever from particular to general, instinctively flying to the
illogic on which the acceptance of human life is based. To Risca,
at nine and twenty, his pain translated itself into terms of the
world-pain; and so will it happen to all generations of all the sons and
daughters of men.