The golden journey of Mr. Paradyne — John Locke — John Shaqi
The golden journey of Mr. Paradyne
John Locke · en
His ears heard the roar, and his eyes beheld the welter of the vast
waters of strange emotions and fierce passions and intolerable joys
that had ever beaten against the arid fortress in which he had been
content to have his bleak and indifferent being.
He wiped the sweat from his brow and leaned dejected against the
jamb of the caravan door. What a mighty and dreadful power was Fate.
No wonder the Greeks made their gods bow down before its supremacy.
The irony of it. Again a Greek conception. The Greeks were right.
How otherwise could he explain the staggering situation in which he
found himself? What but the relentless cruelty of Fate compelled
him, at that moment when the world revealed itself in terms of vital
beauty and infinite meaning, to return as return he must, to the old
withered life of Ealing and the blight of Martha, and the routine
of brain-exhausting, nerve-atrophying, soul-killing, meaningless
drudgery in the Court of Chancery? What single hour’s happiness had he,
intellectual automaton, ever got out of it? What had his brain-cramped
life held that could compare with that morning’s thrill of intense
physical fitness, with that evening’s leap towards the Unknown of
Passion?
‘Oh, damn!’ he said despondently.
According to his duty as husband and man of grave responsibilities, he
ought even now to be on his way to Paris. But he had been too weary of
spirit to make the effort; at any rate too much in love with the day’s
strange freedom. Besides, how could he leave caravan and horse adrift?
The caravan he might have abandoned. Its value was of no account to
a man of his fortune. But the horse was a living thing, a creature of
responsive sentiment, like a dog. It rubbed its muzzle against his arm
as though to manifest fondness. He must make fair and square provision
for the horse. To-night’s friendly encounter had showed him the way.
To-morrow, at the fair, would he sell for a song the whole outfit to
his late kindly neighbours; and then the stern and relentless journey
back to England.
The gradual traffic going fair-wards passed him by. But he did not hear
it, wrapped in his despairing thoughts. The night wore on. The full
moon arose, and, shining through the over-arching vault of foliage,
fantastically diapered the white road.
From his breast pocket, at last, he drew the silver flageolet and
looked at it in wistful perplexity. He put it to his lips, at first
idly and then with a quivering sense of mastery. And lo! he played the
whole of the melody through from beginning to end with its song of
birds and its elfin laughter and its longings and haunting mockery
just as the young man had played it in the starlight of his garden.
And, as he played, his heart was uplifted in a strange exultation,
such as--he now remembered dimly--had inspired him once before when he
had put the flageolet to his lips. He caught at an elusive memory and
gripped it hard, and stared wide-eyed before him with open mouth.