AFTER this they had the many talks which they had promised themselves,
and she told him the little things about John Baltazar which he had
craved to learn. And the young man told her of his ambitions and his
hopes and his young despairs. The last mainly concerned one Dorothy
Mackworth, a Warwickshire divinity in a silk tennis sweater and
tam-o’-shanter, whose only imperfection, if the word could be applied to
tragic misfortune, was her domination by some diabolic sorcery which
made her look more kindly on the black Leopold, his brother, than on
himself. Her age? Seventeen. “You poor babies,” thought Marcelle. Once
she said:
“Why worry? You can find a thousand little Dorothys in a week if you
look for them—all a-growing and a-blowing, with never a wicked spell on
them at all.”
“You are wrong,” he replied. “One can find thousands of Susans and Janes
and Gertrudes—all very charming girls, I admit; but there’s only one
Dorothy. She’s very remarkable. She has an intellect. She has a
distracting quality, something uncanny, you know, in her perceptions and
intuitions. I’m dead serious, Marcelle, believe me——”
She let him talk his heart out. Her soul, dry and athirst, drank in his
boy’s freshness—how greedily she scarcely realized. In her character of
nurse she had acted as Mother Confessor to many a poor lonely wretch;
but in every case she had felt it was to the nun-descended uniform she
wore, to its subconsciously recognized sanctity, and not to the mere
kindly woman beneath, that she owed the appeal or the revelation. But
now to young Godfrey Baltazar she was intensely, materially woman.
Foolishly woman in her unconfessed craving to learn the details of his
life and character and outlook on the world.
Once he checked an egotistic exposition.
“Look here,” he said, struck by a sudden qualm, “I’m always holding
forth about myself—what about you?”
“There’s nothing about me. I’m just a nurse. A nurse is far too busy and
remote from outside things to be anything else than a nurse.”
“But you started out as a mathematical swell at Newnham. Oh yes, you
did! Men like my father don’t coach rotters—least of all women. What
happened? You went in for the Tripos, of course?”
She shook her head. “No, my dear. The magic had gone out of my life. I
tried Newnham for half the next term—facing the music—but it was too
much for me. I broke down. I had to earn my livelihood. My original idea
was teaching. I gave it up. Took to nursing instead. And now you know
the whole story of my life.”
“I can’t understand anybody really bitten with mathematics giving it
up.”
She smiled. “I don’t think I was really bitten. Not like you.”
Then she led him from herself to his own ambitions, on this as on other
occasions. Gradually she established between them a relationship very
precious. It was the aftermath of her own romance.