“Maybe. But I’ve got common-sense. If you think you’re going to London
to stand for Parliament or write poetry and get it printed or run a Home
for Incurable Camels, you’re mistaken, dear. And you’ll have no truck
with women. You’ve never had a woman friend in the world—anyone you’d
die for.”
“Of course I haven’t,” snapped Olivia.
“It’s a man’s woman you are,” continued Myra. “You’ve looked after men
ever since your dear mother was taken ill. It’s what God meant you to
do. It’s all you can do. And you haven’t got a man and that’s what’s
making you unhappy.”
Olivia sprang from her chair, looking with her long black hair ruffled
and frizzed and spreading out around her warm oval face, like an angry
sea-nymph on a rock disputed by satyrs.
“I hate men and everything connected with them.”
“You still hate your husband?” asked Myra looking at her with cold pale
eyes.
“I loathe him. How dare you? Haven’t I forbidden you to mention his
name?”
“I didn’t mention his name,” said Myra. “But if you like, I won’t refer
to him again. Sit down and let me put on the electric dryer. Your hair’s
still wringing wet.” She yielded, not with good grace. Myra had her at
her mercy. Dignity counselled instant dismissal of Myra from her
presence. But the washing and drying of her long thick hair had ever
been a problem; so dignity gave way to comfort.
She was furious with Myra. We all are with people who confront us with
the naked truth about ourselves. That was all she was fit for; all that
life had taught her; to look after a man. She stared at the blatant
proposition in the grimness of the night-watches. What else, in God’s
name, was she capable of doing for an inch advancement of humanity? She
had gone forth long ago—so it seemed—from Medlow, to open the
mysterious mysteries of the world. She had opened them—and all the
pearls, good, bad and indifferent, were men. All the ideals; all the
colour and music and gorgeous edifices of life; all the world vibration
of thought and action and joy of which she had dreamed, every manifold
thrill that had run through her being from feet to hair on that first
night in London when she had leaned out of her Victoria Street flat and
opened her young soul to the informing spirit of the vast city of
mystery—the whole spiritual meaning, nay, the whole material reason for
her existence, was resolved into one exquisitely pure, bafflingly
translucent in its mystery of shooting flames, utterly elemental crystal
of sex. Sex, in its supreme purity; but sex all the same.