Meanwhile Olivia had thrown up the sash of the sitting-room window and
was gazing down at the ceaseless traffic in the street far below—gazing
down on the roofs of the taxis and automobiles which sped like swift
flat beetles, on the dwarfed yet monstrous insects that were the
motor-buses, on the foreshortened dots of the hurrying ant-like swarms
of pedestrians. It was gathering dusk, and already a few lights gleamed
from the masses of buildings across the way. Soon the street lamps
sprang into successive points of illumination. She stood fascinated,
watching the rapid change from December day into December night, until
at last the distant road seemed but a fantastic medley of ever-dying,
ever-recurring sounds and flashes of white and red. Yet it was not
fantastic chaos—her heart leapt at the thought—it was pregnant with
significance. All that rumble and hooting and darting light proclaimed
human purpose and endeavour, mysterious, breath-catching in its unknown
and vast corporate intensity. Shivers of ecstasy ran through her. At
last she herself was a unit in this eager life of London. She would have
her place in the absorbing yet perplexing drama into the midst of which
she had stepped with no key to its meaning. But she would pick up the
threads, learn what had gone before—of that she felt certain—and
then—she laughed—she would play her part with the best of them.
To-morrow she would be scurrying about among them, with her definite
human aims. Why not to-night? Delirious thought! She was free. She could
walk out into the throbbing thoroughfares and who could say her nay? She
put her hand to her bosom and felt the crackle of ten five-pound notes.
To emotional girlhood the feel of money, money not to hoard and make-do
for weeks and weeks with the spectre of want ever in attendance, but
money to fling recklessly about, has its barbaric thrill. Suppose she
let slip from her fingers one of the notes and it swayed and fluttered
down, down, down, until at last it reached the pavement, and suppose a
poor starving girl picked it up and carried it home to her invalid
mother. . . . But, on the other hand, suppose—and her profound and
cynical knowledge of human chances assured her that it would be a
thousand to one probability—supposing it fell on the silk hat of a
corpulent profiteer! No. She was not going to shower promiscuous
five-pound notes over London. But still the crackling wad meant power.
She was free to go forth there and then and purchase all the joys, for
herself and others, hovering over there in that luminous haze over the
Westminster towers of the magical city of dreams.
She withdrew from the window and stood in the dark room, a light in her
eyes, and clenched her hands. Yes. She would go out, now, and walk and
walk, and fill her soul with the wonder of it all.