Now she had sprung into his horizon, a young and splendid woman of
amazing opposites, who compelled attention; and she was the only woman
other than Constance who, during all his life, had sought to know him
and to act towards him tenderwise. Nevertheless, he could not say as yet
that he loved her, in the sweet and common way of love. The old and new
hung equipoised on a delicate balance. The vague sense of this, perhaps,
was one element in the rare exaltation of his mood.
Another element, no doubt, was the final resolve he had taken that
morning, to go to London, whither his ambitions summoned him. He was a
specialist of some note in zymotic diseases. His researches had met with
a recognition not confined to England. He had felt keenly that he was
giving up to the small circle of a country practice what was meant for
the general needs of mankind. London was the only place for study and
work; for the quick amassing, too, of the small fortune that would free
him from the necessity of earning daily bread and would allow him to
realise his dreams of a great bacteriological laboratory, where he could
devote himself exclusively to independent research.
It was at the urgent entreaty of Constance that he had bought, just
before his marriage, the practice at Ayresford. A year's life there had
made him regret London. A little later he had spoken of returning. She
had thrown her arms about him and implored him by all his love for her
to stay. She had a horror of London; why, she could not tell. It was
unreasonable, but the fact remained. London would kill her,--its gloom,
its hardness, its cruelty. It had been the same story whenever he had
broached the subject. And then, Dorothy. The child was delicate, would
pine away in the reek and fogs of the town. All her woman's armoury of
passionate weapons had been employed. And he had yielded, out of his
great love. Her death had set him free. But it had taken him four years
to realise his freedom. The mere thought had been anguish. Now he could
gaze upon the past with calmness and the future with hope. As he walked
along, he began to picture the vigorous life before him. He passed
from wide conception to trivial details,--the fittings of his library,
domestic economies. A room for Dorothy--he pulled himself up short. He
had arranged to part with her. The prospect brought a pang. His father's
comfort in the child, however, was a consolation. He thought of him
tenderly,--the dear old man, the most generous and unselfish being who
had ever blessed the earth. He was a man of deep reverences; his father,
his dead mother, and his dead wife were enshrined in his Holy of Holies.
Dorothy, then, should remain at Ayresford. Perhaps the separation would
not be for long. There was a means of shortening it whose readiness was
a great temptation. The vision rose before him of the child's dark curls
nestling against a girl's soft shoulder. Often had he seen the reality
of late, and it had disturbed his depths.